


can your heart be mine in search

by aestheticzjm



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Bottom Niall, Dom Zayn, Dom/sub, M/M, Porn With Plot, Smut, Sub Niall, Sugar Baby Niall, Sugar Daddy Zayn, Top Zayn, and a lil fluff, bottom zayn (for a lil bit), idk what this is either, kind of but not really, niall is underage for most of the fic, ok hi, slightest daddy kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 19:20:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11789748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aestheticzjm/pseuds/aestheticzjm
Summary: — an au in which niall is a sugar baby whose life is a bit dull and zayn is a lonely businessman whose fiancée has just left him and they turn out to be exactly what the other needs.





	can your heart be mine in search

**Author's Note:**

> hellooo!! this will probably be the last fic that i ever publish on here (it's been a wip for quite a while) and it's just some shitty shit that i never managed to get out of my head so here it is!! i'm aware that no one really uses or revisits this website to read works anymore but i really had to get this work completely over and done with to get some closure. pretty cliche storyline but i tried to shift the dynamics around a bit to make it a little different from the rest of my writing. this is definitely not proofread and i have no beta so i apologize in advance for any plotholes/mistakes. :,,,,)  
> p.s i made a little instagram collection to go with this fic (https://www.polyvore.com/zayns_instagram/collection?id=6665546) probably a little hard to understand without captions but i'm sure anyone could get the gist c": x

Contrary to popular belief, being a multimillionaire and the owner of a business company larger than life wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. And Zayn Javvadd Malik, owner of Malik enterprises knew this better than anyone. At the relatively young age of twenty four, he was already the CEO of his very own company and was a name well known throughout the vast city of London.

While his father was a business man himself, none of Zayn's wealth had been given to him. He had climbed his own way up the business ladder, starting off small in a business while still in his first year of college and over the course of the next few years, with the help of promotions and recommendations, he had finally gotten to the very top.

He was ranked among the richest businessmen in London, and was most definitely one of the youngest. But his life wasn't all rainbows and butterflies, it was far too much work to have to constantly deal with employees that didn't have a clue about what they were doing, to have to show up to the office every day to get told that someone's fucked something up, and to lose his temper at his incompetent workers all the time.

Which was the sole reason that Zayn's older sister, Doniya, had taken over the company, for the most part. Zayn was still the owner and was still largely involved with his business, however his sister spent most of her time at the office and the raven haired man worked mainly from home. His sister was now the third richest in the Malik family, beside Zayn and their father. He was more than glad that she had taken so well to the business, but he still visited the office daily to see how she was doing and whatnot.

Along the way of his journey, Zayn had gotten engaged to his lovely girlfriend of four years. Perrie truly was a dream throughout the first year or so, but after Zayn's company really took off, his love for the blonde had undoubtedly diminished. He was spending less and less time at home, and she was a very clingy person. But the last thing that he would ever expect would be for their whirlwind of a relationship to end; despite their differences and countless arguments, he knew that she adored him more than anything and was extremely reliant on him and his endless wealth.

Whistling softly as he entered their shared house, Zayn loosened the tie around his neck and looked around for any sight of his soon to be bride. "Pez?" He called out, eyebrows furrowing down into a slight frown as he spotted her on the couch, knees huddled up to her chest with her large eyes rimmed red.

After an explosive argument and the bold claim that Zayn didn’t love her anymore, Perrie left their house, along with her suitcases that had seemingly been packed in preparation for this unnecessarily dramatic exit. There wasn't even a goodbye, just Perrie telling him that her friend would be over in a week or so to collect anything of hers that she had left behind.

So this was the explanation of how Zayn found himself on the couch with an unopened bottle of whiskey; which was now opened and had even been taken a few swigs from. After his fiancée had left their house, which he supposed was all his now, two realizations occurred in Zayn's mind. One, that the person he had been with for the last four years of his life had just left him, and two, he had absolutely no intention of going after her.

It were these two epiphanies that saw Zayn in the position that he was currently in, having drunk a tad too much to be properly thinking straight. He was currently scrolling through various websites on his phone, having somehow found himself on some seedy website intended for sugar daddies to find their match. And as a rich, newly single businessman, wasn't he the perfect audience for the site?

After choosing some random person and taking a few more swigs from his bottle, the twenty four old distantly wondered whether what he had done was a smart decision or not. Forget choosing a complete stranger off of a shady website and inviting them to his home, his mind was still hazy from the alcohol and he could barely read the blurry words displayed on his phone screen. But he couldn't bring himself to care at the moment, realizing that this website was the only shot at providing him with the company that he so desperately needed for the night. Not to mention that he had all the money in the world to spare.

After putting away the alcohol, completely removing his tie, and loosening the top few buttons on his pressed dress shirt, there was a beeping from his intercom which signaled that someone was at the gate. He pressed down on the button to let the guest in, chewing down on his lower lip. Now that he thought about it, he really had no idea whom he had chosen to come over. Massaging his temples as he tried to refocus his mind and sober up as much as he possibly could, Zayn's glance shot up at the sound of the doorbell.

Taking a deep breath, the raven haired man made his way over to the front door and was met with the sight of a boy upon opening it. He didn't remember having chosen the male option but he didn't mind, swinging for both teams even though his PR team tried to cover it up as much as possible.

The boy stood in front of him couldn't have been older than sixteen or so, a shock of blonde hair with the bluest eyes that he had seen in a while. His features almost resembled Perrie's, except he was far more appealing; Zayn's eyes widened slightly as the boy shot him a wide smile, braces and all.

"Fuckin' freezing out here, might wanna let me in," The boy said, Zayn quickly able to pick up on the very obvious Irish tinging his accent. His voice was even more delicious, and Zayn just wished that he had given more attention to the boy's rate because he'd be willing to pay for the whole night if it meant having the blonde next to him — it was clear that he shouldn't have opened up the whiskey because his thoughts were all over the place. Nodding, Zayn stepped aside to let the blonde in, closing the door behind him.

He let out a low whistle, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. "Sick place, mate," He commented with the sweet carelessness that only a naïve teen could possess. Turning back to Zayn, he tilted his head slightly and let his gaze wander down Zayn's body, almost as if he was sizing him up. The young boy seemed to like what he saw, yet another breathtaking smile gracing his lips. But the smile quickly turned dangerous as he dropped down to his knees on the carpeted floor, hands coming up to unbuckle the older's belt.

It took a few seconds for Zayn to remember just what the blonde's profession was and what exactly he was doing on the floor. Zayn wasn't trying to find someone to sleep with off of the website, he just wanted someone to talk to. And he knew that a sugar baby probably wasn't meant for that sort of thing, but where else was he supposed to find company? In his drunken train of thought, it made perfect sense to him.

"Wait, wait," Zayn said, finally snapping into action as his long fingers wrapped around the blonde's dainty wrist. He still didn't even know what the lad's name was, so the last thing that he could imagine was letting the boy blow him. The blonde looked up at him with his brows knitted into a slight frown, but there was a quick smile replacing the displeased look almost immediately.

"Right, didn't think you'd wanna get straight to fucking me, but I'm good either way," He said brightly, looking quite smug at the thought that Zayn was so ready to bust that having sex immediately was the only way that he saw fit. But Zayn just shook his head, now frowning.

"No, that's not what I mean. Like, I don't wanna fuck you at all," With that, the blonde retracted, frowning once again. Standing up with his hands on his hips, he gave Zayn an extremely suspicious look. "Listen, mister. I don't know what kind of kinks you may have, but if you think that you're gonna get away with pissing in my mouth or something like tha' then you're wrong because the website clearly states that—" The raven haired man cut off his disgruntled tirade, absently wondering what exactly the boy was subjected to through his profession.

"What? No, no, no. That's not what I'm talking about at all. I mean, like, I don't wanna do anything with you. I just wanna talk? I've been through some rough stuff and I just needed to vent to someone." While he was aware that the particular website that he found was mostly for sex, not for spending time with someone in exchange for money, he was hoping that the blonde would make an exception. "I'll still pay you for the hours or whatever, I just, I just needed some company." He explained, words slightly slurring due to his current state of inebriation.

While the blonde still looked rather suspicious, he finally relented. "Fine, whatever." He replied, his expression softening; Perhaps he could sense the newfound loneliness radiating off of Zayn, but either way, he was seemingly alright with this change of plans.

"You can, um, sit on the couch. Do you want some whiskey or something?" Zayn questioned somewhat awkwardly, arm raising to absently scratch at the back of his neck.

The boy shook his head no, making his way over to the couch and setting himself down. "Not allowed to drink on the job, unfortunately. Clients aren't supposed to be drinking either, but clearly you've already broken that rule," He said knowingly, a teasing chuckle accompanying the words.

Settling down on the couch next to the blonde, Zayn began to chew on his lower lip, completely unsure of how he was to approach the situation.

"Well, you wanted to talk so talk." It was like everything that left the boy's lips was either said in a very matter of fact or direct manner and Zayn loved it more than anything. He seemed like an impertinent little thing, like he needed someone to direct him around a bit. His insolence was different as compared to the usual fools he was used to dealing with, because the blonde was just an unknowing teen while those in businesses were supposed to be experienced. Perhaps it was just the alcohol talking but Zayn couldn't help but find the boy extremely endearing.

"Can't really talk to someone when I don't have the first clue about them, can I?" He questioned rhetorically, resisting the urge to chuckle at the irked look that was given to him by the blonde. The way that he was acting told Zayn that he had no idea who he was, because otherwise he most definitely wouldn't be behaving in the same manner. Even in his drunken state, the raven haired man was smart enough to sign up using fake information. The last thing that he needed was another scandal, considering that he had just gotten out of yet another cheating one. It wasn't his fault that he was constantly papped with various girls that he never actually slept with. He hated the media and the way that reporters just loved to speculate about his life and he also never understood why it was anyone's business anyways; it wasn't rare to see a tweet from Zayn setting things straight. He bitterly realized just how ironic his last tweet was, something about loving Perrie and being sorry for all the jealous fucks in the world; He had tweeted it right after some new cheating rumors had been blown out of proportion by twitter users and various media outlets.

He was brought out of his thoughts by the sweet voice of the boy next to him, who appeared to be introducing himself now. "Well, I'm James, I'm twenty one, I'm from Mullingar, Ireland. I'm in my third year of college, and I'm majoring in music and minoring in astrology." He introduced shortly, the words sounding clearly practiced as if they had been said a dozen times before. Zayn's eyebrows raised in interest.

"Twenty one?" He inquired.

All he got in response was a sheepish smile and a quick nod of James' head. They both knew it to be a lie, but Zayn figured that it was mandatory for him to lie about his age if it meant actually carrying out his job legally. Rather than pursuing the topic further, Zayn was about to begin his story when he was interrupted by James.

"Wait, before you start. Can I just ask you something? I swear ta' god I've seen you somewhere but I can't place it. I know exclusivity is important for customers and all tha' shite but I won't tell anyone."

Debating whether or not to let James know his true identity, Zayn paused for a moment, giving the boy a considering glance. It didn't seem as if he had any cameras on him or anything, so the raven haired man decided to let it slip. "Zayn, Zayn Malik." He said with a slight smile quirking his lips.

James' eyes widened with recognition. "Like _the_ Zayn Malik? Shit, my brother used to work for you! Do you remember a Greg Horan?" The twenty four year old was able to pick up on the wince that accompanied the words, and it took him a second to realize that James had revealed his actual last name, something that he probably wasn’t allowed to do. Either way, Zayn had never heard of a Greg before and he considered lying but decided against it as he lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "Never heard of him, sorry mate,"

James grinned. "Really? I find that pretty interesting considering the letter that he received telling him that he was laid off said that _Zayn Malik treasured Mr. Horan greatly and will never forget the essential contributions and fruitless efforts that he provided the company with,"_ James quoted sarcastically, greatly exaggerating the words and causing Zayn to snort.

"Fuck off. Just so you know, you need to like, not mention this _meeting_ to anyone because I'm already in some hot water right now and can't put up with anything else at this point."

"Well, if this is just a one off thing then I should probably let you know that my name is actually Niall. Already let my last name slip so I guess it doesn't matter much." He said with a shrug, raking his fingers through his blonde hair. Zayn nodded, already liking the sound of his real name; _Niall._ It was made obvious now to the blonde that he had nothing to hide when he was sitting across from someone rather famous that was doing something that he really shouldn't have been doing.

"Humor me this though, aren’t you engaged to that bird from that one band, uh, little mix?" Zayn resisted the urge to cringe at the question, eyebrows drawn down into a frown. Perrie and her mates had started a band a year or two ago, and although they were mostly known in the UK, they were still pretty successful. Somewhere along the course of their relationship, both of them had become a form of promo for the other and Zayn hated it. If he was being honest, he didn't quite enjoy their music but was forced to tweet about it from time to time for the sake of them still being relevant.

"Yeah, I am. I mean, I guess I was? She sort of just walked out on me which is the reason you're here." He admitted, figuring that there wasn't any point in lying to Niall. He was letting a more vulnerable side of him show through but there was also the major probability that the blonde had dealt with people with far odder requests and backstories as compared to Zayn.

"Good for you. Her music was shite anyways," Niall remarked, flushing after the words had left his lips as if he hadn't meant to say them so brashly. "I mean, I'm sorry that you guys broke up. Probably was a shitty relationship in the first place. Wait, that's not really how I meant for that to come out, I—"

Zayn just chuckled, looking at Niall amusedly as he dug himself into a deeper hole. "Listen, whatever, it's fine, honest. I don't even think I'm allowed to be offended now that she's gone," He conceded, shrugging his shoulders.

Niall nodded, and for the first time that night, he stayed quiet, looking attentively at Zayn like he was finally ready to listen. The raven haired man wasn't sure how he felt about the new attention but he took a deep breath and began, deciding that he would start off at the beginning of their relationship and work his way up to what just happened.

He wasn't sure how long passed after he finished explaining, it could've been an hour or four. The whole process was definitely slowed by Niall's observations throughout, snarky words about what a bitch Perrie was or sweet ones about how Zayn deserved so much better.

It felt as if the biggest load had been lifted off of his shoulders once he was done, having said a lot of things that he didn't even know were on his mind. "Hey, like, thanks for listening and stuff. Didn't even know I had all that to say, honestly."

"No worries at all, mate. But I've gotta break the news to my mate that Perrie's a fuckin' witch. I dunno how happy he's gonna be about that since he loves her music," He said playfully, a grin accompanying the teasing words. Zayn rolled his eyes but a faint smile adorned his lips nonetheless.

"Are you sure you don't want a drink or something?" Zayn questioned, trying to keep his tone light even though he was pretty sure that they both knew that he didn't want Niall to go. But the blonde wasn't picking up his advances, blue eyes glancing up to the large clock on the wall. "I can't, unfortunately you only had me for an hour and a half so I've gotta get moving before my next client." He said, and the raven haired man felt an unexplainable wave of contentment at the resignation obvious in the younger's voice.

The pair stood up, Zayn biting down on his full lip. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out his wallet and then a large wad of cash. Sorting it through his fingers, Zayn looked up at the blonde. "Sorry, how much was your rate? Was a little bit too drunk to be paying attention to that," He admitted sheepishly.

Niall looked rather perturbed, his angelic features drawing into a frown. "My rate? Zayn, there's no way I can take money for what just happened. We just talked, I mean, you didn't even kiss me! I don't feel right about taking money from you when we didn’t do anything."

Although the blonde seemed like an uncaring teenager, his maturity was proven clear by those words. Zayn was about to argue when a thought entered his mind and instead he just nodded. "Fine, whatever. Do you think I could get a hug, though?" He questioned, making Niall chuckle but fall into his arms regardless. Wrapping his arms around the smaller boy, Zayn managed to discreetly slip the whole wad of cash into his back pocket, a couple hundred and some more for good luck. Pulling away from the hug, the raven haired man took a second to study Niall's features because it was a given that they weren't ever going to see each other again. He just needed some time to get his head straight and his goal was accomplished because of Niall but that was it. Something was telling Zayn that it was the alcohol, but he couldn't shake the sad feeling that accompanied Niall leaving him.

"Take care, yeah?" Zayn murmured as he held the front door open for Niall, taking note of the almost desolate smile that was on the blonde's lips and the fact that his blue eyes weren't nearly as bright as they were when he first came in. With a few more murmured goodbyes, he was gone. And for the second time that night, Zayn was left alone in his overly lavish apartment. Letting a soft sigh leave his lips, the raven haired man's gaze shifted around the apartment before he collapsed on the couch, his king-sized bed far too large for him to sleep in alone.

                                                   — *✲ﾟ*｡✧ —

Humming softly to himself, Niall rang the doorbell of Harry's flat, waiting for the curly haired lad to answer. While the blonde lived with his older brother and his wife, Greg had told him to stay over with Harry for the night. It was nearing one, the blonde just having finished with his last client for the night and desperately wanting a shower. It wasn’t that he hated his job, but it was just something that he had to do for money and he'd never do it if he wasn’t in the position that he was in. Niall had just turned seventeen and had recently finished up his last year of schooling (he had skipped a year of school which explained his age) but he was taking a gap year before starting college so that he was able to save up for his dream colleges.

The door was opened by Harry's helper who gave him a tired smile, and Niall frowned. "I'm so sorry if I woke you up, Marissa. Are Harry and Lou not home?"

"They are, but they're both upstairs so I don't think they heard the bell go." The blonde nodded, stepping inside Harry's flat after telling Marissa to go sleep because it was far too late for her to be awake.  Harry lived in the penthouse of the apartment building, and him and his boyfriend owned the balcony at the very top as well. Niall had met Harry back in eleventh grade — although the circumstances under which they had met weren't the best, Niall was extremely grateful for that very meeting. The blonde used to get bullied daily and Harry, who was always the talk of the grade, had stepped in one day, and heroically saved Niall from the bullies that tormented him throughout high school. There were a lot of things that separated Niall from the average high school student and those were the things that he'd get bullied about; like his sexuality or the messy divorce his parents were going through.

Harry's parents were actually divorced as well, but he was on speaking terms with them as compared to Niall. The blonde still had some reservations from when they made his life hell when he was a kid, so the moment that Greg moved out with Denise, Niall left as well. While it was admittedly painful leaving his mother whom he had lived with for all his life, the blonde would never regret the decision.

Harry had a completely different situation as compared to Niall's own. His parents got divorced due to domestic abuse, and while his father was a terrible person, Harry's mum was extremely kind and understanding. She now lived alone with Harry's stepfather, and Harry lived with his boyfriend whom he had been dating for about a year now; but he had only moved in about a month ago, and was going to start at a college which was only a few minutes away from their shared flat.

The brunette was actually the person that had introduced Niall to the concept of being a sugar baby, even if he had never tried it out himself. The brunette was lucky, having met his current boyfriend at some event that he was serving food at and it was love at first sight for both of them. And the man that he had met was none other than Louis Tomlinson, an established businessman, known to the public for his explosive temper and harsh demeanor — but he was a completely different person around Harry. Even though they were living in an apartment that Louis had bought specially for the pair and he had paid a significant amount for Harry to go to a good college, it was clear that Harry would still be in love even if the money was cut out of the equation. And the age difference of about eight years didn’t bother either of them. They were both in love and it was as clear as day. Niall envied their relationship because he admittedly wanted something just as pure and genuine; and it only helped that Louis was an amazing person as well.

After making his way up the stairs while on the way to his room, Niall was brought out of his thoughts by the low lull of Harry's voice. "Hey, Nialler. You alright?" The blonde nodded with a soft smile, running his fingers through his hair that had had far too many strangers' fingers through it for the day.

"Anything interesting happen?"

An image of Zayn flashed in Niall's mind, and he silently debated whether or not to tell Harry about it. It wasn't even like it was a very interesting story, but for some reason, he couldn't get Zayn out of his head and he usually preferred to forget about clients as soon as possible. Deciding that there was no use in hiding it from Harry because he'd probably find out some way or the other, he nodded with a little sheepish smile.

Harry's eyebrows rose with interest, gesturing for Niall to get inside the guest bedroom; they had a few extra rooms in the flat but this one basically belonged to the blonde. "Lou's got a big meeting tomorrow so he's asleep and I don't wanna bother him," He said as means of explanation, closing the door behind him and then falling onto the bed and somehow managing to take up more than half of it with his long limbs.

Niall remained standing. "You know who Zayn Malik is, right?"

Harry bobbed his head in a nod, eyebrows furrowing down into a slight frown at the mention of the name for whatever reason. "Yeah, I do. Lou's biggest competitor, actually. Both their companies are doing well but I've heard that Zayn's got the edge on Louis' and Louis hates it. Why, though?"

The blonde was completely unaware of this fact and was also rather taken aback. It should've occurred to him sooner, considering that Louis and Zayn were both extremely successful businessmen in the same field. "Well, he was one of my clients today."

"Are you serious?" Niall nodded. "Wow, you should've gotten a picture of him or something. I'm sure TMZ would eat that up," The words were only playful because Harry was the type of person to never possess any malicious intent, but they both knew that he'd do just about anything if it meant defending or protecting Louis. In reality though, it was the other way around, because Louis was extremely protective and liked to make sure that Harry didn't have to ever lift a finger when it came to getting things done. And since Harry loved being pampered, it was like they were both made for each other.

"He didn't wanna do anything though. You know his fiancée, Perrie from little mix? She walked out on him a few hours ago and he just wanted some company so I stayed and talked ta' him for an hour or so."

Harry looked wholly unimpressed. "That's it? Was he as intimidating as all those news articles make him out to be?"

Niall tilted his head slightly, considering the question. "Not really but he was also wasted so I'm not sure what he'd be like sober. And he was mostly talking about Perrie so there wasn’t a lot of time for doing anything else." It was clear from the way that the raven haired man described his relationship that the pair truly were happy, so it was a shame that they were broken up now. Zayn was nice, a lot nicer than he would've expected from what he had read, and it'd be a lie if Niall said he hadn't wanted them to do something other than talking. If the circumstances were different, the blonde would've fallen for the older man without a doubt and it was unfortunate that he'd most definitely never have a client as kind as him again.

"It's whatever, I'm just gonna go and shower now," He murmured after a pause in the conversation, turning so that he could get some clothes from the closet that were filled with clothes that were just his size even though he had never bought any of them; it was all Louis, of course.  

From behind him came a low whistle from Harry. "Shit, Niall. Did you lie about your rate because he was so drunk?"

Niall turned to him with an almost disgruntled expression on his features. While his clients' favorite thing to do seemed to be taking advantage of him, never once did Niall try to do so with any of them. "What? No. We didn't do anything so I told him that he didn't have to pay me,"

"Well then, what's all that?" Niall's expression conveyed nothing but pure confusion at the brunette's words. Harry gestured to his back pocket which the blonde reached into, frowning slightly as his fingers made contact with what felt like a wad of cash. Eyes widening as he realized that was exactly what it was, Niall counted it silently, the total coming to just short of six hundred and fifty pounds. "Holy fuckin' shit, Harry."

"He must've really liked you, Niall." The words barely registered in the blonde's mind as he stared at the money in disbelief. Louis had offered numerous times to pay for Niall to go to college because he was paying for Harry but he had always declined. Niall was someone that liked to get things done by himself and while it could be seen as questionable because he _was_ taking money from rich men in exchange for sex, it was still a job, even if it wasn't your usual day job. And the money that he had in his hands was one of the biggest steps that had been taken in obtaining the money needed for college. Six hundred and fifty pounds for a mere hour and a half was hundreds of pounds above his asking rate, and while the amount probably didn't seem like much to most people, it was everything and much more to Niall.

"I can't keep this, Harry," He murmured, shaking his head regretfully. "It's just not fair when we didn't even do anything, I don't deserve this much from him and I'd feel like shit keeping this amount of money from someone that just talked to me about his engagement. It must've been a mistake or something because there's no way he would've given this to me if he was sober."

"Six hundred probably means nothing in his field of work, and he must've given it to you for a reason — I doubt that he was so wasted that he'd give you money without even knowing it, Niall." While he wasn't sure whether the brunette's words were true or not, Niall knew that he wouldn't be able to keep the money with a clear conscience. He wasn't comfortable with even taking his asking rate from Zayn, much less _six hundred and fifty pounds._ He was forced to do humiliating things, things that no one should ever have to do at the tender age of seventeen for barely any money so to Niall, it was like he was taking advantage of the raven haired man and he didn't like it.

"I've gotta return this, Harry. I just don't feel right keeping it," Niall said softly, a sigh leaving his lips as he thumbed at the numerous bills. Harry hummed in acknowledgement, knowing Niall well enough to know that his mind wouldn't be changed regardless of what he said to try to sway him.

'"I dunno how to get to him though? It'd be really fucking weird if I just showed up to his flat because I'm pretty sure he won't even remember me in a few days." The words unexplainably caused a wave of dejection to pass over him, although he couldn't quite place why the thought of Zayn not remembering him bothered him so much.

"It's alright, we'll figure it out in the morning. I'll even go with you if you want," He offered with a small smile tugging at his lips, Niall nodding thankfully at the brunette's words.

"Yes, please. Thanks, Harry. And by the way, can you not mention this to Lou or anything? I don't want him thinking that I've suddenly got some sort of relationship with his competition or whatever, y'know?" Harry nodded in understanding, getting up from the bed and stretching out his long arms with a yawn. "Yeah, of course. Good night, Niall. Don't forget to keep the money safe," He mumbled sleepily, stepping forward so that he could wrap Niall in a hug before he was on his way, out the door before closing it behind him.

Staring at the wad of cash for a few seconds longer than necessary, Niall shook his head again, opening up his bedside draw and storing it in the bottom drawer. A major part of him almost felt guilty even keeping it in his room, but another tiny part of him was wondering what he could've done with the money if he decided to keep it. It'd help him get off the site for good in a few months or so and get a more normal job even if his income was reduced and he'd even have some free time during his gap year to begin studying up for the courses that he was planning to take. But he knew that it wasn’t a viable option, keeping the money was the last thing that he wanted to do. Shaking off the uneasy thought with yet another sigh, Niall stepped out of his outfit and grabbed something to sleep in to take to the shower so that he could change afterwards.                                                                                                       

After getting into the shower and turning the water to the hottest setting possible, Niall distantly recalled that he'd have to be serving at some large event tomorrow evening. Harry would be in attendance alongside Louis, so Niall was grateful that he'd at least have some familiar faces to fall back on. Picking up the soap and rubbing it on his tired skin, the blonde willed himself to forget all of his thoughts and just relax for a few minutes, which was the best that he could do when he was constantly under a shit ton of stress. The shower was the one place where he was able to let his walls come down, where he was finally able to rub himself free of all the unknown fingers that had touched him throughout the day.

                                                   — *✲ﾟ*｡✧ —

Staring at himself in the mirror, Zayn let out a soft sigh as he finished fixing up his tie. After the breakup, Perrie had gone to their shared PR team and spilled the beans, a snitch as usual. She was always telling their team about things before Zayn and it was just irritating having to deal with both her and them when he was always left out of the loop. Even though most businessmen didn't have public relation teams, Zayn was unique because in addition to his usual work, he sometimes dabbled in modeling for a few of the fashion companies that he collaborated with. He had a large fan following across his social media most likely due to his " _good looks and his lavish lifestyle_ " (as noted by countless news articles) so it only made sense that him and Perrie had made the mutual decision to have a shared PR team.

Zayn desperately regretted the decision now but the inevitable meeting had to occur, and it happened the next afternoon straight after the breakup when Zayn was still extremely hungover. His sleep that night was pretty restless, all of his dreams filled with swirls of gold and blue; at this point, all and any thoughts of Niall had been forgotten, especially after the news that he received at the meeting.

There was a public event today that he was meant to be attending, the audience consisting mainly of famous actors and singers however some prestigious businessmen were invited as well. Zayn was (unfortunately) being forced to go as Perrie's plus one, their team insisting that the public break up would have to be after the event because it was essential that they went together. And the team had decided that the story they were telling the public wouldn't be anything like it was in real life, Zayn to take the blame for everything because he _dumped his fiancée over a text message_. They claimed that it was because the raven haired man had a larger fan following and would have more fans to fall back on as compared to the blonde. But Zayn knew it was actually because of his "bad boy, mysterious" image that the media just seemed to love, along with the simple fact that Perrie's next tour was beginning soon and everyone would eat up the heartbroken girl act and their tickets would sell like hotcakes. He hadn't really put up much of a fight, partly due to the fact that he was hungover and partly due to the fact that there was really no point in arguing with either his team or Perrie.

In the beginning, he thought having a shared team would be beneficial to their relationship but clearly that wasn't the case anymore. He made a mental note to get a new team as soon as their break up went public, not wanting to be linked to either of them any longer; if they wanted a public reconciliation or something like that for drama, he just wouldn't have the heart to follow through with it. He loved Perrie, he really did, but their relationship had become so important to the public eye and for the last few months, it almost felt as if they were putting on a show for their fans rather than being true to themselves.

Biting down on his lower lip, Zayn silently debated whether he should even go to the event or not. It was something rather exclusive, just one of those events that people went to for new connections and fake smiles and too many niceties to be Zayn's kind of thing. But he knew there was no way out of it so he finished getting ready, combing through his styled up hair with his fingers and adjusting his exquisite suit.

 His doorbell sounded and he rolled his eyes, since the absolute last thing that he wanted to do was to show up with the blonde. They were going to have to act as they were just in love as when they first met, which wasn't very different from what they had been doing in front of cameras recently anyways but it was even stranger because they weren't together anymore.

Opening up the door with the politest smile that he could possibly muster, his smile dropped instantly because Perrie was busy on her phone, texting away with her manicured nails and not even looking up at Zayn once. "The limo's outside, let's go." She said flatly, continuing to text rather than paying any attention to the raven haired man. It was then that he realized that this night may be even tougher than he previously thought and he let out a soft sigh before grabbing his own phone and leaving the flat, following her to the lift.

As the lift reached the ground floor, Perrie put her phone away and there was instantly a large toothy grin on her face as she intertwined their fingers together. He stared at her blankly for a minute before realizing that he was gonna have to appear just as happy, forcing a smile of his own as the lift doors opened and they were met with the blinding lights of the various cameras scattered around them.

It was about half an hour later that they reached the venue, fashionably late as always. Car rides were usually spent with them joking around or making out but this one was almost unbearable, the silence in the car deafening and awkward which was something that they just weren't. After the painful car ride, they finally found themselves at the event and they made their entrance while holding hands and forcing large smiles.

And then it was a matter of greeting all of Perrie's bandmates as they _raved_ about how good they looked together but Zayn knew they were lying through their teeth when they told him how much they missed seeing him. After about half an hour more spent with them, Zayn was bored out of his mind and just couldn't stand there for a second longer.

"I'm gonna get a drink and be right back, babe," He murmured close to her ear, resting his hand on the blonde's waist because he was aware of the cameras that were around them. She just hummed a short response and she looked as if she was about to say something but Zayn took off, knowing that he was never gonna get away if she began to talk.

Bypassing the tables and tables lined up with food, Zayn searched for the alcohol. There didn't seem to be any on the tables and while what he truly needed was a smoke, alcohol was the next best thing. While on the search for drinks, the raven haired man almost bumped into someone but was quick to step aside and he gratefully realized that it was one of those alcohol servers that sometimes served at events like this.

Gaze rested solely on the champagne, Zayn took one of the glasses. "Thanks, mate," He said quietly, eyes lifting to meet those of the server and freezing when the eyes that met his were the blue ones that he had committed to memory only a night ago. They stared at each other for another few seconds, Zayn in pure disbelief that he was at the exact same event on the exact same night and they had run into each other — all by pure chance.

"Niall?" He questioned once his mouth had fully caught up with his brain. The blonde's mouth opened, Zayn more than ready to hear the familiar Irish brogue, a fresh breath of air in this otherwise stale party when there was suddenly an arm wrapping around his own.

"Zayn, _dahling,_ Katherine's over there and we've absolutely got to talk to her!" Zayn just blinked at Perrie, unsure of why she was acting the way that she was when there was no one around but it took him a second to realize that Niall was still standing there. Clearly she thought that he would go to a reporter and rave about how cute the couple was, because public affection was the best way to let everyone know that their relationship was absolutely _flawless_.

It was then that he was promptly whisked away by Perrie after she had taken a champagne glass of her own from Niall, Zayn giving one more meaningful glance to the blonde who just looked incredibly confused. Which was obviously understandable considering the fact that just last night, Zayn had been telling him about what a mess their relationship was. He knew then that he was going to have to find the blonde again, their meeting simply _too_ fateful to be a coincidence. Zayn knew that he couldn't possibly let Niall slip away from him again.

And so after a few more greetings and firm handshakes, Zayn used the excuse of needing to use the loo for finding Niall once more. It wasn't difficult, the boy standing out like a sore thumb from the rest of the crowd. The fact that he was even here as a server told Zayn numerous things. The most important being that this was just another odd job that he did next to the website, probably because he was pressed for money. After spotting the boy and somehow making eye contact with him, the raven haired man tried his best at being subtle and jerked his head towards the back exit that he knew wouldn't be swarmed by paparazzi because they were all at the entrance waiting to take pictures of everyone new that arrived at the event. While Niall looked a little hesitant, possibly because he was on the job, he relented and imperceptibly returned the nod.

 So Zayn waited outside for Niall, a freshly lit cigarette perched between his lips when the back door finally opened. And there he was, save the tray of alcohol this time. A smile found it's way on the raven haired man's lips, taking one last drag from the cigarette before putting it out, knowing in the back of his mind that the boy next to him was far too young to already have his lungs polluted with smoke.

"Pretty big coincidence seeing you here," He commented conversationally, biting down on his lower lip as he rested his gaze on the blonde. "What're you doing here anyways?" Zayn asked, even though it was very clear what he was doing at the event. He wasn't planning on starting the conversation off with one of the hundred things that were running through his mind because it would be completely inappropriate. During their previous meeting, the raven haired man was able to blame the alcohol for his desire for Niall but now, he had absolutely no excuse for why he so badly wanted to reach out and kiss him.

"'m a server tonight. Dunno why they even let me do it when I'm not of age to be handling alcohol," He commented with a chuckle. While the image that he had of Niall was admittedly a tad hazy because of his lack of sobriety, this was his chance to conjure up a proper image of the blonde while hopefully not letting him scamper off once again.

"Not of age? I thought you said you were twenty one," He commented with a slight raise of his brow, his tone almost interrogative. It was an odd detail to remember from their whole interaction but he remembered it nonetheless.

Niall shied back slightly, looking almost surprised at the older's words. Either it was because he wasn't expecting Zayn to remember that or it was because he wasn't expecting the huge change in demeanor when he wasn't tipsy. Sheepishly scratching at the back of his neck, Niall's cheeks flushed a lovely red. "Well, I mighta lied."

Zayn tsked playfully at that, shaking his head. "You lied? Now that's quite a few things you've lied about, if I remember correctly. Lying's not a very good habit, Niall," He chided, and although the words were playful, his tone had dropped to a dangerous murmur and the blonde was staring at him almost as if he was entranced. The sexual tension between them was palpable, far heavier than the night that they had met because Zayn was completely sober now and knew how to get what he wanted; and what he wanted, more than anything, was the guileless boy in front of him.

The blonde's flush only deepened, moving closer as if he couldn't help himself. But then it was like something snapped Niall out of his trance and he moved back slightly, frowning.

"Wait, one sec," Niall murmured, the confident boy that he had met only yesterday somehow replaced with a shy, fumbling one. Zayn couldn't decide which version of Niall he liked better but he knew that he liked them both. He watched as Niall began rummaging through his back pockets for something, Zayn's unkempt brows raising when he pulled out a wallet. His eyebrows raised even higher after he pulled out a wad of cash and thrust it forward as if Zayn was supposed to take it.

"What's this?" He asked slowly, gaze shifting from the money to the blonde instead. Niall shrugged his shoulders jerkily, awkwardly retracting his hand because Zayn hadn't taken the money offered.

"Well, seeing as you were so pissed that night," He coughed softly. "I didn't think it was fair to take the money that you gave me? If you even remember, I'm pretty sure it was a mistake that you gave it to me in the first place. And I know you gave me about six fifty but I left the money back at home so I thought I'd give you whatever I had with me right now and I can give you whatever else later? Like, this is only two hundred but I've still got about four fifty to give back so—,"

Zayn cut the younger off with a chuckle, causing him to stop talking and direct a bewildered look to Zayn instead. "Sorry for interrupting, it's just that I meant to give you the money, Niall. Like, I was drunk but I wasn't _that_ drunk. Keep it."

Niall still looked rather hesitant so Zayn decided to change the topic, leaning against the brick wall while still being wary of his suit. "I'm glad that I ran into at least one person here that's not a fucking psychopath," He muttered, rubbing his temples at the mere thought of having to go back inside to where Perrie and her bandmates and friends were. He didn't enjoy events like this in general, so it was a given that he hated it even more after their breakup.

"I thought you and Perrie broke up. You guys looked pretty cozy together tonight," Niall commented nonchalantly as he placed the money back in the wallet and the wallet in his back pocket. But Zayn could tell that there was an edge to his words, that he was feigning nonchalance rather than actually not caring.

"You jealous?" Zayn asked, grinning as Niall snorted. "But no, we did split up. Management team's making me show up to one last event with her," He explained, the blonde nodding in understanding at his words.

"Shouldn’t you be inside fraternizing with her then?" Niall questioned with a coy grin.

"Shouldn't _you_ be inside serving drinks?" Zayn retorted, making the blonde laugh.

"Would've been if you hadn't pulled me out. I can go back there right now, if you want," He replied cheekily, taking a step closer as he stared up at Zayn with an almost challenging look in his eyes.

"Aw, fuck it." Zayn muttered before he pulled Niall in by the black tie on his white suit shirt, their lips meeting in an almost too forceful kiss. Zayn's large hands travelled down Niall's body until they rested on his hips. Letting his tongue slip in between the seam of Niall's parted lips, he shoved his leg in between the blonde's own so that he was forced to straddle it and they both got some friction.

Niall broke off the kiss with a groan, grinding down on Zayn's leg and leaning on him as if he was a puppet whose strings had been cut. Zayn guided him, using his grip on the younger's ass to help him use Zayn's leg more effectively. Niall was absolutely beautiful, the raven haired man mindlessly pressing kisses to the exposed skin on his neck while Niall continued letting out soft grunts. He knew it was dangerous, doing something like this in full view of everyone, knowing full well that he could be papped by someone if they were passing by at the right moment. But it didn't matter to him at that moment, reaching down to palm at Niall's covered dick while letting his other hand wander up to grip his chin and direct him in for another kiss, all tongues and slick.

Zayn extricated himself from the kiss and flipped their positions, shoving Niall against the wall and securing his thin wrists against the wall with one hand. He used his other hand to undo the blonde's trousers, undoing the zipper and yanking them down to just above his knees. And then he pulled down Niall's boxers so his cock was exposed; pale and gorgeous like him, precome steadily dripping down from the tip.

The blonde's chest was heaving with every breath that he took, staring up at Zayn with blue eyes that had been clouded over with lust. He brought his hand up to the blonde's mouth, murmuring for him to lick which he did in a very teasing manner. Then Zayn wrapped a hand around his cock while keeping his gaze solely rested on Niall's face. Zayn's pace on Niall's cock was torturously slow, the man absorbed in the pleasure playing out on the blonde's young features. Niall's eyelids fluttered as his pink lips parted into a silent moan, thrusting up into the older's grip like he couldn't help himself.

Niall's head fell back against the wall with a loud noise, letting out senseless curses as Zayn watched, captivated by the beautiful boy falling apart all because of him. "Please, Zayn, god, faster," He gasped out, wrists straining against Zayn's one hand like he was testing his hold. But the raven haired man kept him pinned, slowing his pace even more until Niall's groans got louder, loud enough to get them caught if they weren't careful.

This forced Zayn to stop touching Niall altogether and he clamped a hand over his filthy mouth instead. "Stop." He said lowly, eyes burning into the blonde's own. "I can't continue to touch you if you're being this loud, Niall. What if someone catches us? You'd like it if someone saw us though, wouldn't you?" While the question was rhetorical, Niall nodded anyways, expression almost pained with how turned on he was. "Bet you'd like it if someone saw you like this, pants around your knees, begging for me to let you come," With those words, Zayn retracted his hand and got back to working on his cock, flushed just like Niall was.

He quickened his pace until Niall was chanting out Zayn's name, not nearly as loud but loud enough for Zayn to consider stopping altogether once again, perhaps not even letting Niall come; but Zayn took pity on the younger lad, continuing to stroke him until he was coming with a choked off groan, all over Zayn's hand and probably his boxers as well.

Zayn lifted his hand and brought it to Niall's mouth, watching hungrily as he licked off his own come without being prompted to. The blonde's eyes were glazed over, mind still hazy from his orgasm but nonetheless he took his time with sucking Zayn's fingers clean, not fazed by Zayn's numerous rings and letting them graze his teeth and braces instead. The braces were new for Zayn, never having done anything with someone who had braces before but he liked them either way.

Once Zayn had let go of the other's wrists and Niall fixed himself up, the blonde's pointed gaze flickered down to where Zayn was clearly hard in his suit pants, quirking an eyebrow like he was asking Zayn whether he wanted some help with that. While the suggestion was tempting, he knew that he couldn't put his far too expensive suit at risk, already having taken his chances with what had just happened. So he shook his head and pressed the palm of his hand to his dick in order to alleviate some of the pressure before he was leaning in and letting their lips meet once again.

They kissed for a little bit longer before Zayn pulled away, regretfully looking towards the exit door with a soft sigh. "God, I've gotta get back before Perrie has a fucking meltdown or something." He murmured, raking his fingers through his hair.

Niall just nodded, looking up at Zayn with an incomprehensible look in his baby blue eyes. Zayn pulled out his phone and handed it to Niall, tilting his head a little bit. "Put your number in? Your actual number, by the way. Not like, the website one." Niall shook his head at the joke but grinned either way, taking the older's phone and entering his number in. He was inexplicably glad that the younger boy seemed to return some of the feelings that Zayn had for him, because he honestly wasn't sure how he'd feel if he was rejected by someone who he had already taken quite a liking to.

"Am I ever gonna get to know your real age, or?" Zayn asked, already knowing that Niall was, without a doubt, the youngest person that he had ever been attracted to. It was yet another dangerous aspect to their already questionable relationship but it'd be a lie if Zayn said that his apparent youthfulness wasn’t incredibly alluring.

"Seventeen," He replied after a pause, chewing on his lower lip as he averted his gaze to the floor before looking back at Zayn nervously. "But I'm eighteen in September which really isn't that far off." The raven haired man did his best to keep his face blank, knowing that Niall would feel insecure if he had a visceral reaction to his words; his mind was saying a thousand things though, none of which he voiced out loud.

"Well I'm twenty four so I hope that's not too much of a problem." He replied teasingly, chuckling at Niall's feigned look of disgust. "That's alright, grandpa," Niall said, pressing one last kiss to his cheek before he gave Zayn his phone back and cautioned for him to get back inside otherwise someone would eventually notice his prolonged absence. And when Niall complained that he was gonna lose his job after his long disappearance, the raven haired man simply told him that he'd give him triple of whatever these assholes were paying him while Niall cackled in response.

                                                   — *✲ﾟ*｡✧ —

It took Zayn about four or five days before he called Niall, thumbing over the contact a few times before finally mustering up the courage to do it. He was unsure of what's got him so nervous, perhaps it was the fact that Niall's age was pushing it and him being seventeen was almost a crisis of conscience on Zayn's part. Which was absolutely ridiculous, considering that the blonde's job basically consisted of sleeping with various men for money. But someone of Niall's age was just far too young to be putting themselves in a position like that and Zayn was curious about his background; small things like whether he was still in high school or saving up for college, who he was staying with, why he couldn't find a less confrontational job. It was almost worrying how intrigued the raven haired man was by Niall, so technically, the smart thing to do would be to stay away from him at all costs but Zayn was known for giving into his temptations without much resistance at all.

So Zayn rang him up and sometime later, his doorbell was ringing. Zayn made his way to the door embarrassingly quickly and he opened it up and there Niall was, looking as gorgeous as usual. Zayn figured that he must've been an exciting business prospect to Niall, as he was so famous and so frequently featured in magazines and news articles of all sorts. Add that to showing interest in the blonde without taking advantage of him like he was probably accustomed to, Zayn was most likely straight out of a dream in the younger's eyes.

"Hey, Malik," Niall greeted brightly, Zayn's eyebrows raising at the odd use of his last name.

"Didn't know we were on last name basis now, _Horan," H_ e replied, watching amusedly as Niall stripped off his jacket and tossed it carelessly on the floor, walking towards and into the kitchen like the house belonged to him. Zayn couldn't deny how badly he wanted him — or more specifically, how badly he wanted to fuck the recklessness right out of him. Taking a deep breath at the thought, Zayn followed Niall inside the kitchen.

He found Niall rummaging through his fridge, seemingly looking for something to eat. "Hungry?" Zayn questioned with his brow arched. There was a faint smile playing on his lips as Niall turned around, his own eyebrows knitted together.

"'m always hungry, Zayn." The blonde said in a very matter of fact manner, as if Zayn was supposed to be aware of his eating habits. The older just chuckled, watching as Niall closed the fridge door after pulling out an apple and turned to Zayn with a thoughtful expression. "Why'd you invite me over?"

That was the last thing that he was expecting to come out of Niall's mouth so Zayn paused, considering the question. "I like you. You're unlike anyone else I know and you piqued my interest." He decided on after a pause, the words honest even if they sounded generic. Niall was _different_ , he liked to test Zayn's limits and wasn't afraid of the outcome. It was refreshing to not have someone so afraid of him that they weren't able to be open around him. And on the other end of the spectrum were all of Zayn's famous friends, too polished and censored for his personal taste. Niall fit into neither of these categories and was, in fact, the farthest thing from both of them.

"Piqued your interest? So are you gonna dump me once I fail to hold it anymore?" Niall asked in a rather cold manner, gaze resting on Zayn as he salaciously took a large bite of the apple. Zayn was unsure whether he meant to be a tease or not; the way that he was looking at the raven haired man told him that he was.

"I don't think you'll be doing that anytime soon, if I'm being honest." He said lowly, unable to help it when his gaze dropped from Niall's cerulean eyes to his mouth instead. "You— you got your braces off."

"Took you long enough to notice," Niall replied, shooting Zayn yet another smile, showcasing his pearly whites proudly. "Got 'em off right after tha' party. Well, day after, technically."

"So right after you got off?" Zayn teased, chuckling at his joke even though the blonde looked entirely unimpressed.

"God, you're really gonna need some help with that old man humor of yours so I might as well stick around," Niall said with a roll of his eyes. Despite the fact that he had only taken a few bites of the apple, he stuck it back in the fridge and looked to Zayn with a sultry smile and an over exaggerated wink. "Y'know, my braces were always a problem when it came to sucking people off but they're gone now."

"Fuck," Zayn growled out, just the image of Niall on his knees for him enough to make Zayn move forward and roughly grab Niall's arm (which caused him to let out a loud yelp of indignation that Zayn promptly ignored) and lead him upstairs to where his room was. The only person that ever regularly went into his room was Perrie as it was a safe space for Zayn and not really somewhere that he allowed friends in — unless they were close, of course. But there wasn't an ounce of hesitation in him as he pulled the blonde in, Niall even pausing for a moment to comment about how sick his room was. It was a very accurate portrayal of himself, what with the spray-painted walls and the countless R&B albums plastered atop of them.

Niall didn't have much time to admire the room for too long though, Zayn grabbing his chin and directing the younger in a kiss full of desperation from both parties. Far too long had gone by since Zayn had Niall's lips against his and it was almost as if he was suffering from withdrawal. The raven haired man guided the pair to the bed that he hadn't been able to sleep in since Perrie had left, pushing the blonde down with a large hand on his chest. "What do you want, Niall?" He questioned softly, feeling a sharp pang of arousal at the obscene way Niall looked at him, a dazed look in his eyes with his mouth slack.

"Anything. God, anything you want, Zayn."

Before Perrie and before the fame, Zayn had had only a handful of partners. Zayn always thought that he knew what he liked, but it actually took his first male partner for Zayn to discover what he _really_ liked. Zayn got a rush from watching his partner fall apart because of him, when he was the one in complete power. There were a few other things that he enjoyed, and on the whole, Zayn's tastes when it came to sex were very singular and he couldn't think of a better person to act his fantasies out on. When it came to Perrie, it was always lovemaking and hushed whispers and _iloveyous_ but that was the absolute last thing that he wanted for Niall. 

"I want you to suck me off," He murmured. Niall rolled his eyes, teasingly muttering out a " _typical"_ before he was getting up and dropping to his knees. It was reminiscent of about a week ago, when Niall was in the same position except the circumstances were completely different.

"No. I want you to strip for me first."

Niall looked surprised, still on his knees but Zayn stood in silence, raising his eyebrows as if he was asking him to get on with it. After a few more seconds of sexually charged silence, Niall probably realized that Zayn wasn't joking around and he rose, their faces only a few inches apart. The blonde stared up at Zayn as he fluidly removed his top, revealing inches and inches of bare, creamy skin that he so desperately wanted to reach out and touch. But he kept still, watching as Niall undid his trousers and removed them, leaving him clad in only his boxers, and then those came off as well. This was the first time that Zayn had seen Niall fully naked and the sight did not disappoint in the slightest; he was _beautiful,_ just as gorgeous with the clothes off as he was with them on.

"Is this okay?" Niall questioned softly, dropping back down to his knees once Zayn nodded. There was something exciting about the fact that Zayn was still fully clothed while Niall was completely naked and on his knees for Zayn. The blonde's lower lip jutted out in concentration as he undid Zayn's belt and got it off,  tossing it somewhere next to them. He pulled down the older's trousers just enough so that he had access to his boxers.

But Zayn stopped Niall when he was about to pull them off with a hand around his wrist, eyebrows furrowed down slightly. "Ask first," He murmured, feeling a shock of pleasure at the look of defiance that Niall gave him. But he complied nonetheless, voice barely above a whisper as he asked for Zayn's permission to pull down his boxers. The raven haired man nodded once more, feeling almost as if he could come at that moment, with the far-off look in Niall's eyes, the obscene way he's licking his lips at the sight of Zayn's cock, the fact that he's flushed all over despite them doing next to nothing.

Niall licked at the head of the older's cock, teasing precome from the slit with just his tongue. Niall could tease Zayn as much as he pleased, but he'd have to expect the same treatment later. He tangled his fingers through Niall's dyed hair, keeping him in place with the grip that he had on his hair. Then he pushed his hips forward slightly, effectively causing Niall to choke on Zayn's cock. It was clear that he had a shitty gag reflex but Zayn didn't give him any reprieve, holding him there for a few more seconds before letting up. There were tears in Niall's eyes when he looked up but it was evident that he liked being pushed around a bit, if his obviously hard cock was anything to go by. 

The blonde went in again, sucking softly on the head of Zayn's dick until he was forced forward again, Zayn holding him for a little bit longer than the last time. It was incredibly gorgeous, watching Niall choke on his dick. Niall's tongue teased the underside of the older's cock as he went in deeper, trying to take more of Zayn. It was then that he noticed that Niall was touching himself, his little whimpers sending vibrations down the older's dick and bringing him to the edge even sooner.

Zayn instantly retracted, although he kept his grip on Niall's hair, forcing him to look up. "Stop. That's mine," He said firmly, dropping down to his own knees and pushing Niall's hand away from his own cock. The blonde let out a little pitiful whine, head dropping to the older's shoulder as he moved forward, grinding his dick against Zayn's covered thigh. "Fuck, please, Zayn. I can't," He groaned out, Zayn's arm coming around to wrap around the blonde's tiny waist.

"No, Niall. I want you to suck me off until I tell you to stop, yeah? Can you do that? Can you be a good boy for me?" He questioned softly, grabbing his chin with his free hand so that he could properly look at him. Niall inhaled deeply, nodding as he stared into Zayn's dark eyes. "Good," He murmured, letting their lips meet hotly before he was getting back up and feeding Niall his cock once more.

Niall took it better this time around, taking as much of Zayn as possible until he was being guided to do so. After a particularly rough shove, Niall gagged around Zayn's dick and pulled off so the older's cock was rested on his full bottom lip. He looked up at the raven haired man with the most desperate look in his eyes and Zayn took hold of his dick, tapping it gently against Niall's cheek. The blonde seemed to revel in the sensation, letting his eyes fall shut as he let Zayn do what he pleased.

 "Come on," The raven haired man murmured, chewing on his lower lip as the younger boy got back up onto his own two feet and collapsed on the bed. Zayn made his way over after he had rid himself of his clothing, now just as exposed as Niall was. The blonde was looking up at him in awe, and it would be a lie if Zayn said that he remembered the last time someone looked at him quite like _that_.

"Need prep?" He asked quietly, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly when Niall shook his head no.

"Fingered myself off this morning," Niall admitted breathily, eyes flickering down before meeting Zayn's again. "Was thinking of you the whole time."

"Christ, Niall," Zayn groaned, moving forward and leaning down so that he could press a hot, open-mouthed kiss to Niall's parted lips. The blonde let out a little whimper into the kiss, hands coming up to press against the older's cheeks, kissing him with all that he could.

Zayn had to pull away so that he could reach into his beside draw, pulling out the lube but bypassing the condoms. He preferred to go bare, however him and Perrie had started using protection after a pregnancy scare — apparently her birth control wasn’t always effective and Zayn most certainly wasn't looking for child anytime soon.

While he thought that it wouldn't be much of a problem for Niall, the blonde bit down on his lower lip at just the sight of the lube. "You're gonna have to use a condom, Z," And there it was, the slap in the face, the harsh reality of the situation. Zayn was even about to tell the younger boy that he was clean when he realized that it wasn't him that was the problem; it was _Niall_ and his profession that was preventing them from not using protection. The raven haired man nodded silently, grabbing a condom and leaning back over to where Niall was lying on the bed.

Deciding to push the thoughts out of his head and bring up the topic later, Zayn set the stuff down beside Niall on the bed and pressed a kiss to the younger's lips. "How do you want it, babe?"

"Any way you want, Zayn. Just fast, please," He mumbled, Zayn's gaze travelling to his neglected cock that almost looked painful with how hard he was. Smiling a little dangerously, the raven haired man got a bit of lube on his fingers and wrapped them loosely around Niall's cock, stroking him gently a few times. Niall's hips came off the bed as he tried to thrust up into Zayn's rough grip, chanting out Zayn's name along with a lot of curses. Zayn wasn't being nice about it either, not gripping him nearly tight enough for it to be pleasurable but the younger boy looked close to coming all the same.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm gonna come," Niall nearly screamed and at that moment, Zayn wrapped his fingers around the base of his cock in almost a vice grip, effectively stopping the younger from coming. "You'll come when I want you to come," The raven haired man said darkly, honey practically dripping off of the smooth words.

"Oh, you fucking asshole," Niall whined, head falling back against Zayn's pristine white bedsheets. Zayn just chuckled, the sight of a desperate Niall enough to make him want to tear the blonde the fuck apart. "Manners," Zayn reminded him, letting go of the younger's cock in favor of his own, gathering some more lube and spreading it on himself instead. He spent some time on himself, tugging himself off with slow, lazy pulls and getting a kick out of Niall's ruined, shiny gaze.

Then he was getting the condom on, softly telling Niall to get onto his hands and knees and then he was pushing in. He was insanely tight, making Zayn wonder whether he was lying about having prepped beforehand — the thought of Niall enjoying the pain that came with the stretch only made the raven haired man push in faster, much to the apparent pleasure of the blonde who was groaning the whole way through. It took one more rough push for him to be completely sheathed inside Niall, the blonde's arms shaking dangerously; it almost looked as if he was unable to support himself, and it was all because of Zayn.

"Can I move?" He questioned, just to be polite. Niall didn't answer, letting out a senseless whine as he desperately nodded his head but Zayn wasn't having it. "Use your words," Zayn spat harshly and quick as anything, he had Niall's hair gripped in his hand, forcing his head back. Niall groaned, equal parts plain and pleasure as he grinded back against the older's dick, trying to take him deeper because he had completely stopped moving. "God, yes, Zayn. Move, for fuck's sake,"

The older man smirked softly, letting go of Niall's hair and resting his large hands on his tiny waist instead, thrusting forward roughly. It didn't take long for him to find the younger's pleasure spot, only a few harsh thrusts. It was obvious when he rubbed against Niall's sensitive prostate, the younger's arms completely giving out, causing him to collapse face first onto the bed. The angle was better this way, Zayn able to pound into Niall's smaller body more effectively.

He knew that he had to be leaving bruises on Niall's body, with how tightly he was holding him. He moved his fingers down a bit to his hips and saw that he was right, the red marks of his fingertips a harsh contrast against Niall's creamy skin. "Fucking christ," He groaned out, his words almost drowned out by how loud Niall was being. Zayn almost wished that there were people around them just so he had an excuse to shut the younger boy up.

Zayn could tell that the blonde was getting some friction by grinding his dick against the covers but that's _not_ what he had in mind for him so he stopped moving once more, much to the distaste of Niall who was very vocal with his disdain. "Quiet," Zayn warned, voice low. "Move up a little for me,"

Niall did as told, getting back onto his still shaky arms. Zayn was able to get a hand around his dick from this angle, instantly speeding up the pace on the younger's cock to match his erratic thrusts because he was so close. He used the hand that was previously supporting Niall to get a grip on the front of his neck and moved him back slightly so that their lips could meet in a sloppy kiss, more tongue than anything. And then he was pulling away long enough to tell him that he could come before he began kissing him once more.

Niall came first, dangerously tight around Zayn as he unintentionally fell forward once more, supporting himself on his elbows. A few moments later and the raven haired man was coming as well, pressing an open mouthed kiss to the exposed skin on his back.

They stayed like that for a little bit before he softened, Zayn having to pull out to tie off the condom before disposing of it efficiently. He made his way back to where Niall was, still in the exact same position and he rested down next to him. "You're getting your come all over my bedsheets," Zayn commented with a little chuckle, lips curving up into a smirk at Niall's look of utter scornfulness.

"You're a real prick, y'know that?" Niall sneered, nonetheless turning so that he was facing Zayn. The older man rubbed the pad of his thumb on the blonde's cheekbone. "Well you're adorable, y'know that?" He replied rhetorically, grinning after Niall rolled his eyes.

Taking his lower lip in between his teeth, Zayn paused, watching Niall for a silent moment. "About your job—" He started off, feeling as if he had to say something about it even if it wasn’t like an elephant in the room.

"No." Niall started, cutting him off immediately. "Tha’s not up for discussion, Zayn. If you want to continue whatever this is," He said, gesturing between the two. "Then you're gonna have to understand that it's not something that's going to change anytime soon. Alright?" Zayn's brows furrowed down into a slight frown but he decided not to say any more about the topic, instead asking the younger boy whether he wanted to shower with him. Niall looked a little hesitant, probably because of the mention of his job but after a few kisses, he seemed to be up for it.

Later, when he was lathering soap on the smaller boy's back, he made a mental note to revisit the topic sometime later if they actually continued whatever they had started. And something definitively told Zayn that they would.

                                                                                  — *✲ﾟ*｡✧ —

Just like that, Zayn and Niall became _ZaynandNiall._ It happened slowly, Niall spending more and more time at Zayn's house until half of his belongings were there and neither of them minded. While they hadn’t explicitly had the discussion about what their relationship was, they both sort of assumed that they were properly dating. Exclusivity would obviously be impossible as Niall was still working, sometimes having to cut their shared time short because he had a client. In addition to that, it was difficult going out, the pair forced to wear sunglasses everywhere they went so that Zayn wasn't recognized. Making their relationship public wasn't an option just yet, the raven haired man still being forced to deal with Perrie and getting rid of their PR team. The public divorce had already happened but the matter of their PR team had admittedly left his mind altogether, just because of the amount of time that was been spending with Niall.

Zayn was undoubtedly infatuated with the younger boy, despite all of the hardships. The two spent their days holed up in Zayn's room, arguing about which was better; vinyls or digital music, The Weeknd or Justin Bieber, Zayn's trusty nokia or Niall's unnecessary IPhone seven. Niall would show Zayn instagram memes that he couldn't possibly understand for the life of him and Zayn would tell Niall all about his favorite books even though they both knew that Niall would never fully appreciate the deeper meanings underneath the surface. That was how their days passed, living in their own little universe, completely unaware of the world around them.

The raven haired man was currently sprawled across the sofa, immersed in one of his favorite novels. He was brought out of his thoughts by Niall's lilting voice, eyes lifting to meet the blonde in front of him, dressed up like he was planning to go out. "Z, d'ya think I could borrow some money? I just need some for transport." Zayn stared at him blankly, setting his book down on his lap and removing his glasses. "What?"

"'S your hearing going already, old man? I said that I needed some money for transport,"

"I heard you, Niall. I _meant,_ where are you going?" He asked pointedly, unkempt eyebrows knitting down into a soft frown.

Niall rolled his eyes, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Zayn, I already told you that I don’t have any clients this weekend." When Zayn continued to look at him with a raised brow, Niall let out a dramatic sigh. "I'm going out with my mates. To the club." The blonde explained shortly, well aware of the older man's protective habits.

"And am I ever gonna get to meet these mates of yours?" Zayn asked, completely unaware of the image of Louis that flashed in the blonde's mind. The one reason that Niall never really mentioned or spoke about his friends was because of the simple fact that he was trying to keep Zayn a secret from Louis and Louis a secret from Zayn. The blonde was now used to  hearing Zayn bash Louis and his company on a daily basis and it was almost painful, Niall just not having the heart to mention the fact that Louis was one of his closest friends.

"Welllll, I just don't think you'll get along with them." Niall drew out, and his eyes flickered to the ground rather than meeting Zayn's gaze of skepticism. They both knew the younger boy was a shit liar, but he usually got away with it by offering Zayn various sexual favors — not this time, apparently. "And why not, exactly?"

"They don't seem like your type of people, Z."

"Y _ou_ don't seem like my _type of person_ either, Niall," He pointed out, accentuating the words with air quotation marks. "And it's fine, if I don't get on with them then I can just find some bird that's willing to put out," Zayn teased, a soft chuckle escaping his lips at the look Niall gives him.

"Shut the fuck up." Niall deadpanned, but it took only a second more for him to realize that Zayn wasn't going to give in anytime soon. "F _ine_ , Jesus. You can come."

A grin adorned the older's lips as he stood up after setting his book and glasses down on the sofa. The raven haired man had gotten back from his office only an hour or so ago so he was dressed in one of his signature suits. He straightened out his tie slightly before looking up at the blonde. "Let's go, then?"

"You can't go dressed like that," Niall exclaimed, gesturing to Zayn's outfit with his arms. The older's eyebrows raised yet again, before he was frowning, looking down at his outfit. "What, why not? I thought you liked this suit."

"You could at least try to blend in, Z. We're going to a club so just, y'know, dress casual. I know it's probably been a while but I'm sure you can manage,"

"Fuck you," Zayn said heatlessly as he made his way past Niall and upstairs to find something acceptable for him to wear. A little bit later and he was done, making his way back downstairs to where Niall was, now lying on the couch, playing around with the phone that Zayn had gifted him despite Niall's many refusals once he was aware of the price.

"How the fuck do you look so good in everything?" Niall wailed, immediately envious of the way that Zayn was dressed, effortlessly cool and stylish as usual. Zayn grinned, shrugging his shoulders as he raked his fingers through his hair. "You're the real looker here, babe. Now let's go,"

In a way, Niall was right because Zayn admittedly did get stared at quite a lot — putting aside the fame, the raven haired man was aware that a large number of people found him attractive. But it took a certain kind of artist to appreciate the beauty that Niall possessed; big cerulean eyes paired with the most beautiful smile that Zayn had ever laid his eyes on, anyone's heart would melt. It only made sense that he was so popular in his line of work.

The two made their way out of the older's apartment, Niall insisting that they take a cab rather than Zayn's sports car because they didn't need the attention. So they did, the cab ride filled with Niall telling Zayn all about his favorite golfers while the latter just watched fondly.  Their conversations were generally kept very light, the older boy not having the slightest clue about Niall's past. Anytime his job or family or friends were mentioned, Niall would avoid it to the fullest and Zayn didn't feel the need to pressure him into talking about something that he was clearly uncomfortable with. It was a shame, that they were unable to be a proper couple because of all of the hurdles surrounding them but Zayn's affection for Niall hadn't dimmed in the slightest.

As the driver pulled up to the club, Zayn looked over at Niall and frowned slightly at the sight of him nibbling on his nails while looking out the window — one of the blonde's many nervous tics that Zayn had grown to notice. "What's wrong, babe?" He questioned as he pulled out some money and paid the driver, the pair thanking him before leaving the cab.

"Just promise me that you won't get mad? Please?" Niall asked gently as they approached the entrance to the club, linking his fingers with Zayn's. He was extremely confused at this point, unsure as to why he was acting the way he was.

"Of course not, Niall. But why?"

"You'll see." Breathed the blonde before they entered the large establishment. It was packed because it was a Friday night, some pop music that Niall probably liked blaring throughout the club. It was quite unlike the prestigious events that Zayn was used to, and since the raven haired man was so focused on succeeding all throughout college, he rarely went to parties or spent time hanging out with his friends. But it had all payed off in the end, and he most certainly didn't mind going through those basic milestones alongside Niall.

There was a loud shout of "Horan" and the pair were met with the sight of three people near the bar. Zayn squinted slightly to get a better view of who they were and his blood ran cold when he realized who exactly it was that was now greeting Niall with a hug. He would have never guessed in a million years that Niall knew Louis, but it just showed how little he actually knew about his own boyfriend.

Louis pulled away from the hug and his blue eyes were now meeting Zayn's, his gaze immediately turning icy. There wasn't an ounce of warmth in him as he reached out a hand for Zayn to shake. "Louis. Louis Tomlinson," The brunette introduced, even though he was well aware that Zayn already knew his name. Although the two had never spoken to each other directly, they were usually present at the same events and the media loved to pin them and their lifestyles against each other's as if it was some sort of competition.

"Zayn Malik," He said in response, adopting the same cold tone as the other man as he grasped his hand a little bit too firmly.

Niall watched with bated breath as the two greeted each other, realizing then just how much they looked like two alpha dogs trying to claim their territory. It was almost scary, and the blonde had to put an end to it as soon as possible so he yelped, "I'm gonna go get some drinks!" and pulled Harry alongside him to where the bartender was.

Zayn recognized the curly haired lad that Niall was with, used to seeing pictures of him and Louis plastered all over tabloids. There was no denying that they were an adorable couple, and Zayn would be lying if he said that he didn't envy the way that they were able to flaunt their relationship so publicly.

Beside Louis was another boy whom Zayn didn't recognize. This one had a mess of side swept brown hair, bushy eyebrows raising in joy as he shook Zayn's hand. "Liam, Liam Payne," He introduced, clearly mocking Zayn and Louis but making the raven haired man let out a soft chuckle anyways. "And you are…?" Zayn questioned, unsure of the boy's relationship with Niall because the blonde had never mentioned any of them beforehand. He now understood why Niall was keeping them a secret but he almost wished that he hadn't so that the shock factor could have been reduced.

"Oh, me, Niall and Harry went to high school together but I was a year senior to them so I'm about to start my second year of college soon. I'm actually going to uni back in Wolverhampton but I'm here from break to see these guys and my extended family and whatnot," Liam explained with a soft smile curving his lips, Zayn painfully aware of Louis' gaze still rested on him. 

"Should we sit?" Zayn questioned, and he directed the question solely to Louis because if he was so intent on staring the raven haired man down then the least that he could do was entertain him for at a while. So him and Louis and Liam made their way to the bar table, setting themselves down on the chairs in very awkward silence.

 

"Fuckin' hell, Harry," Niall whined dramatically as the bartender prepared their drinks, shots of tequila because getting shitfaced seemed to be the only option for making some of the tension dissipate. "Did you fucking see them? I swear I thought they were gonna fight or some shit like that."

"C'mon, Nialler, it wasn't that bad at all," Harry said, and he forced a smile even though both of them could clearly see through it. "Thanks, mate," The blonde thanked the bartender, downing one of the shots as soon it was set down on the table. And then another, before Harry was stopping him by placing a firm hand on his arm. "These are supposed to be for them!" The brunette whined, but that didn't stop Niall from taking yet another one. He liked to thank his Irish heritage for his high alcohol tolerance but even Harry knew better than to let Niall get completely wasted.

"Another round over there, please," He said politely to the bartender, gesturing to where Louis and Zayn and Liam were sat. The only reason that the bartender hadn't IDed them yet was because Harry, Louis and Niall frequented the club often and with Louis around, questioning wasn't really the best idea. "C'mon, Niall," Harry said after the brunette took the last shot of the round, grasping the blonde's hand and leading him back to where the three of them were sat.

To say that they were deep in conversation would be a full out lie. Zayn and Louis were admittedly speaking to each other in hushed tones, but they still looked as if they wanted to break each other's necks. "Got you lads some shots," Niall cut in, almost flinching at the look that Louis and Zayn simultaneously gave him. Zayn's gaze softened once he realized that it was the blonde, but his jaw was still clenched and his nostrils were flared. It was a look that he had never seen cross the older's features, and Niall could only hope that it was the alcohol talking when he became aware of the fact that he found it unbearably hot.

The demeanors of people varied wildly when it came to being drunk, but one of Niall's main ticks was the fact that he got very aroused and touchy whenever he was wasted and something about the way Zayn was looking tonight was already setting him on edge.

"Can't drink tonight because I've got a meeting tomorrow," Louis commented, the blonde's eyebrows furrowing down into a frown when Zayn nodded and murmured ditto. If there was no alcohol to break the awkward barrier between the two, Niall had absolutely no idea how they would ever manage to get along. He almost voiced these thoughts out loud but refrained from doing so, taking one of the shots himself instead.

Harry followed the blonde's lead, taking a shot before Louis was murmuring something in his ear. The brunette looked a little surprised, and Niall tilted his head in curiosity. "You sure?" He questioned, to which Louis answered a highly irritated _yes._ Harry pursed his lips a little, as if he was stopping himself from saying something but he eventually relented, shrugging his shoulders and gesturing for Niall to follow him to the dancefloor.

Something told the blonde to just go with it, so he bid goodbye to Zayn, Louis and Liam (who he had almost forgotten about) before following Harry to the crowded dancefloor. "What was tha' about?" He questioned loudly, having to yell over the loud music to be heard by the younger boy.

"I think Lou was a little mad because we were _insinuating_ that they weren't going to get along," Harry replied, imitating his boyfriend's irked tone with a shrug of his shoulders. "And clearly they're both stubborn as balls so I think they're trying to prove to us they'll be able to go on without murdering the other."

Niall chortled at that, not mindful of the dozens of pulsating bodies around them because he had a pleasant buzz going and his claustrophobia wasn't as bad when he had some alcohol in him. "We're better off without them anyways," The blonde said, unbothered, shooting Harry a grin before pulling the younger boy flush against his body. Niall was used to getting a lot of attention but Harry wasn't because he was almost always with Louis, so he let him revel in the feeling of having all eyes on him, chuckling softly to himself as they danced together.

The blonde couldn't tell how much time had passed by once Harry complained that he was tired and his body hurt, but he knew that he was significantly drunker than when they had first arrived. Harry and him had been getting drinks every time they got tired of dancing, steering clear of where Louis, Zayn and Liam were, partly because they didn't want to bother them and partly because they were having too much fun to remember them.

But Harry had burned out quicker than usual due to the fact that he had started college fairly recently and still wasn't used to the strenuous hours spent working. Despite his lack of sobriety, Niall did his best to lead Harry to where Louis and Zayn were sat. It took him a minute to recognize them because it seemed as if the two broody men that they were with only a bit ago were now replaced by two grinning ones. Their body language said that the two were clearly at ease with each other, and Niall could only guess that they had gotten some drinks because there were really no other plausible explanations.

But after approaching them, Niall quickly learned that this wasn't the case at all. Surprisingly, the two businessmen had bonded over apparent their shared love of weed and superheroes and tattoos. For the third or fourth time that night, Niall blamed the alcohol for the ridiculous twinge of jealousy he felt as he watched Zayn and Louis mesh together so well. In hindsight, he should have been glad that they got on so amicably because they were both recurring figures in his life but the alcohol was making him see things differently at that moment.

"Where's Li?" Niall cut in, chewing on his lower lip as Zayn and Louis turned their heads sharply like they had forgotten that the blonde was even there. "Oh, he was talking to some bird last I checked. But there he is now," Louis replied, tipping his head in Liam's direction. The brunette was walking towards them now, grinning with that post sex glow that was easily recognizable by anyone's standards.

"You put out?" Louis questioned incredulously, a loud laugh escaping Niall's lips at the look that was given to Louis by Liam. Harry, on the other hand, wrinkled his nose. "Where?"

"You filthy cunt. You fucked her in the loo, didn’t you?" Niall asked knowingly, sporting a wide grin on his features. Liam remained silent, Niall's smile widening as Liam flushed and sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. Louis let out a low whistle while Zayn chuckled softly, shaking his head.

Harry murmured something in his boyfriend's ear and Louis wrapped an arm around him, pressing the softest kiss to his forehead before whispering something in return. "Harry's a bit sleepy so I think we're gonna head back now." He told the group, squeezing the younger's shoulders gently.

"Do you think it's alright if I could hitch a ride?" Liam asked.  Louis nodded, gaze shifting over to Zayn and Niall. "Do you two wanna come along as well?"

Niall looked over at Zayn, able to tell that he wanted to say yes and was about to do so but Niall set a tentative hand on the older's upper arm. "Can we please stay a little longer?" Niall asked sweetly, doing his best to not let his words slur as he blinked up at Zayn through his eyelashes. Zayn looked back over to Louis with a fond smile gracing his lips and shrugged.

"Guess that's your answer, mate. Hit me up sometime, yeah?" The raven haired man bid the three off, Niall's hand raising in a halfhearted wave as Louis, Harry and Liam left Niall and Zayn to their own devices.

"You're pissed off your arse," Zayn remarked amusedly with a raised brow, reaching forward to pinch Niall's cheek. Niall shied away from the touch, his cheeks flushing a deep red as he intertwined their fingers together and led the older boy off of the bar chair that he was sitting upon. "What're you doing?"

"C'mon, I wanna dance." Niall whined.

"You know I don't dance, Niall." Zayn replied, hesitantly chewing on his lower lip. Niall figured that Zayn had gotten a proper look of Niall and fully realized just how drunk he was. Niall rolled his eyes instead of replying and pulled Zayn to the packed dancefloor. Thankfully the club itself was completely dark save the multicolored fluorescents pulsing over the floor, basking them in the rapidly flashing neon lights.

They usually weren't recognized but Niall had had his fair share of people stopping and staring for a minute before shaking their heads as if they felt like they were just seeing things. And there were also the select few that stopped them and asked Niall if he'd take pictures of Zayn with them which he was always happy to do. Zayn wasn't someone that particularly liked being stopped in public but the blonde found his fans adorable and was always extremely sweet to them. There had been a few articles written about Zayn and Niall being spotted together but there hadn't been anything too serious, presumably because no one would ever guess that they were dating and for that, they were both thankful.

Once they were securely on the dancefloor, Niall grinned dangerously up at Zayn before he was turning and pressing himself against the older boy. Zayn let out a little gasp, Niall clearly able to imagine the look of surprise on the older's face and giggling at the thought. Zayn was just standing there awkwardly, causing Niall to huff softly and pull the older's arms forward so that they were around his waist.

Once they were in the desired position, Niall leant back so that he was against Zayn more fully. If an outsider was watching the two, they would probably think that the way Niall was pressing up against Zayn was a bit too risqué for the club but everyone was absorbed in themselves and weren't paying an ounce of attention to the pair.

Zayn was swaying gently along to the beat of the music while Niall pushed against the older boy like he was in heat. Niall wasn't usually like this, only ever dancing up on someone when he felt like joking around but there was nothing funny about the way that he was grinding on Zayn. There was something electric running through him and he knew that Zayn could sense it when he turned around and met the older's eyes.

He wrapped his arms around Zayn's neck before leaning forward a bit so that his cheek was rested near the older's shoulder. They were still completely pressed together so he knew immediately when Zayn felt that he was half hard in his trousers because he heard the little surprised _oh_ that left the raven haired man's lips.

"Yeah," Niall said raggedly, close to Zayn's ear as he pushed his hips forward so that there was nothing separating them from rutting against each other besides four layers of clothing. Zayn shifted away a little, squeezing Niall's hips as he took a good look at the blonde's face. Niall could guess what he looked like, blonde hair standing up in tufts, only a thin ring of blue surrounding his dilated pupils, bitten lips parted.

"I think we should go home, Niall," Zayn said, the worry in his tone obvious. He had never dealt with the younger boy when he was drunk before, but the way that Niall was looking at Zayn was most certainly enough to be a cause for concern. But Niall shook his head, leaning forward and pressing an open mouthed kiss to the older's neck. He guided Zayn's hands so that they were under his shirt instead, pressed against the abs that he had been working so hard to build up lately.

Niall let go so that Zayn's hands rested on his lower stomach and discreetly slipped his own hands down Zayn's body until they were rested on the bulge in his black trousers instead. Niall roughly squeezed the raven haired man's cock, indulging in the sharp intake of breath from Zayn who was clearly bothered as well.

"Ah, _fuck,_ I really think we should get you home," Zayn said meaningfully, gaze still rested solely on the blonde. Except now the worry that was previously in the older's eyes was now replaced with an ounce of lust. "N _o_ ," Niall whined, close to Zayn's ear as he ground their hips roughly together. "I want you right now, Zayn."

Zayn almost choked on his own tongue at that, trying his best to remove his hands from underneath Niall's shirt. He placed them back on the younger's hips and attempted to steady his voice as he leaned forward a bit, still having to speak loudly over the music. "We can't right now, babe. I've gotta take you home and we can do whatever you want, yeah?"

Despite the fact that Niall hummed a soft assent, he once again discreetly gripped Zayn through his trousers and let out a soft moan that resounded in the older's mind as if it were playing through a loudspeaker. "Fucking hell, Niall," Zayn groaned under his breath, torn between doing the right thing and getting Niall home or fucking him in full view of everyone else at the club.

They both knew that Niall had a thing for riling Zayn up in public (even if this had been taken to another level entirely) and although Zayn always claimed that what they did was for _them_ and absolutely no one else, Niall knew he secretly liked it too and he was using this knowledge to his advantage. But Niall could sense that Zayn wasn't quite taking the bait so he pouted slightly, tilting his head in what he hoped was an innocent manner. "Can you at least get me one more drink? And then we'll go, promise."

Zayn still looked hesitant so Niall deepened his pout, adding in a guileless blink of his lashes for good effect. "Fine," He finally relented, always a sucker for the younger's puppy dog eyes. It was unfair, the way that Niall always had the upper hand on Zayn despite the fact that the older man was so much more powerful in every single way.

Niall grinned, pressing a sweet kiss to Zayn's cheek before letting him lead the two back to the bar. "One rum and coke, please," Zayn ordered for Niall, arm wrapped around the younger's tiny waist in order to steady him. Once the bartender finished off the drink and set it on the table, Zayn took a little sip to make sure that it wasn't too strong for Niall. It had passed his test so he handed it to the blonde, gaze absently following the bartender who was making his way to the other side of the bar table, effectively leaving Zayn and Niall alone save the few people a feet or so away from them.   

The raven haired man was brought out of his thoughts as Niall gently touched his upper arm, most probably due to the fact that he was missing the attention. With a devilish smirk, Niall lifted his glass in some form of cheers, wetting his lower lip with his tongue before coyly murmuring, "Thank you, _daddy."_

And then he was taking his first sip as Zayn's dark eyes narrowed imperceptibly further. "What?" Zayn questioned blankly, staring at Niall as if it was the first time that he was looking at him. If Niall was being completely honest, he himself wasn't quite sure where he had pulled the word out from. In the blonde's drunken state, his brain was supplying him with things to say that he didn't really think about before they left his mouth.

"W _hat_?" Niall replied, feigning innocence as he took another sip of the drink, making a point to blink coyly at Zayn while doing so. Niall was feeling devilish, liked the way that Zayn was looking at him like he wanted to just eat him up. Niall would never admit it to the older man but he liked the feeling of belonging to someone because no one had ever made him feel that way before. He was accustomed to being used and thrown away like he wasn't a real person with actual feelings, and it would take a toll on anyone if it happened for long enough. Zayn didn't see him as an object like everyone else did and the thought was comforting in ways that no one would understand but himself.

"I really wish I could get down on my knees for you right now," Niall admitted softly with his lower lip in between his teeth, placing his free hand on Zayn's covered knee. Zayn's eyes flickered down to Niall's mouth, chewing on his lip as he rested his hand on top of the younger's. "Why don’t you just finish that off quick then, yeah?"

Niall nodded, finishing off the drink in one quick gulp and distantly hoping that he didn't appear too desperate in front of the raven haired man. But Zayn just looked painfully aroused, dark eyes burning into Niall's own as he absently squeezed the younger's hand.

The blonde couldn't quite remember how they left the club, distractedly remembering flashes such as Zayn's large hand on his waist, guiding him out, Zayn murmuring something into his phone, presumably calling up a driver because there was no way that Niall would make it through a cab ride. Once they were outside, the cool air hitting Niall and making him shiver, he turned to Zayn.

"Car's coming in a little bit," Zayn murmured before he rubbed the pad of his thumb across Niall's cheekbone. "It's quite cold out here, should've brought a jumper for you." The raven haired man said worriedly, the words barely registering in Niall's mind. They weren't alone outside the club but it felt as if they were the only two people left in the world at that point.

Niall wrapped his fingers around Zayn's wrist and directed him down a little bit so that Zayn's thumb was running across his plump lower lip instead, the blonde's lips parting to accommodate the soft moan that left his mouth. Niall let go of his arm as he sucked Zayn's thumb into his mouth, eyes flicking up to meet Zayn's lustful gaze.

Zayn's nostrils flared, biting down on his lower lip as he retracted his thumb and let Niall suck on his pointer and middle finger instead. Niall fit his lips around Zayn's rings as he sucked the older's fingers deeper into his mouth, gagging on them but maintaining steady eye contact with Zayn that told the man that Niall definitely liked it. "Fucking hell," Zayn breathed, unsure of where the boy in front of him had even come from. Niall was generally very alluring but what usually captivated Zayn was Niall's purity, the way that he always seemed so fucking coy despite the fact that they both knew he was the complete opposite; but this was a completely different side of him that the older man had never seen before, and he wasn't sure whether it was the alcohol making Niall lose his inhibitions but it certainly seemed so.

There was a black car pulling up to them in a moment and Zayn was pulling Niall into the car without any pretense, murmuring lowly for the driver to _roll up the partition please_. Despite the lack of space in the car, Niall was on his knees almost instantly, undoing Zayn's pants like his life depended on it. He slipped them off as far as the car would allow, giggling softly at the look of concern on Zayn's face as they drove over a bump.

Zayn had been in awe of him for that whole night, but there were no words to describe how he was looking at him when Niall leaned forward to mouth at his dick through his boxers. They both knew that the car ride home wasn't long enough for them to fuck but Niall figured that the least he could do was tease him a little.

"Can I please have your cock, daddy?" Zayn was turned on beyond belief so he wasted no time in questioning Niall, instead nodding his head a bit too frantically and praying that Niall was drunk enough to not hold this newfound kink against him in the morning. The blonde smirked, before he was pulling down the older's boxers and licking his length lewdly. Niall was always a slut for Zayn's cock but he was never this shameless about it.

The short car ride went by like that, Zayn letting Niall do the work as he sat back and watched the blonde choke himself on his dick because apparently he liked it a bit rougher when he was drunk. And then they were entering the lift, Zayn pressing Niall against the wall as he sucked the younger's tongue into his mouth. And then somehow they found themselves on the bed, Niall's hips jerking up into thin air as Zayn pinned him down and quieted his moans with his tongue. The blonde found his eyes falling shut in pure pleasure as he did his best to kiss Zayn back properly. Niall was trying his best not to float away like he so desperately wanted to do, instead focusing on the hot flashes running through his entire body as Zayn pressed bruises into his pale skin.

                                                                      — *✲ﾟ*｡✧ —

Niall awoke with a start, the sound of running water in the bathroom bringing him out of his deep slumber. The blonde blearily blinked his eyes open, just in time to rest his gaze on Zayn, in a tailored black suit with a towel in his hands. Niall watched as the older man approached him, the faintest smile ghosting his lips. "Didn't think you'd ever wake up," Zayn murmured, resting a hand on the younger's forehead after he had set his towel down. The raven haired man absently ran his fingers through Niall's messy hair, causing the younger boy to hum gratefully, the older's fingers doing wonders for his insistent headache.

"What the fuck happened last night?" Niall managed to voice with the little bit of saliva he had left in his otherwise dry mouth, wetting his chapped lips with his tongue. Zayn grinned as he shook his head slightly, a mischievous glint in his already bright eyes.

"Oh, you're going to love this. I really had no idea that you become such a little slag when you're pissed." He remarked amusedly, eyebrows raising. Niall felt his cheeks flush, tugging his lower lip in between his teeth as he threw an arm over his head, letting his eyes fall shut so that he didn't have to meet Zayn's knowing gaze. "What did I do?"

"Well, for starters, you tried to blow me in the middle of the club. Like, I was worried that we'd get kicked out with how you were acting."

Niall groaned softly, already knowing that Zayn was going to hold last night against him for many weeks to come. Alcohol and him were never particularly a good combination, and what Zayn was describing sounded exactly like him. Despite his painful headache, Zayn did not offer him any reprieve whatsoever and instead continued speaking in that same amused tone that he used whenever he teased Niall.

"Wait, though, this is the best part of the story. You got me all riled up in the club and in the car so I was ready to fuck you the moment we stepped in the flat and we were snogging and like, I couldn't find the condoms so I told you to wait and went to go search for them. And you wouldn't believe it, but when I got back, you were asleep. Like, proper knocked out. I tried to get you up but you were dead asleep. So I had to go wank off in the loo like some pathetic teen because you had been teasing me the whole night."

Niall chortled at that, unable to stop himself from giggling despite Zayn rolling his eyes. But a grin graced the older's lips after a moment of watching Niall laugh helplessly, and he shook his head a little bit. "Fuck off. That was proper shitty of you."

"I'll make it up to you, promise," Niall said, trying his best to keep his voice low while looking up at Zayn with the practiced lip bite that he knew the older liked, but his head throbbed painfully and his face contorted into an expression of displeasure instead. "My fuckin' head's killing me," Niall whined, making Zayn coo as he once again ran his fingers through the blonde's hair.

"Y'know, you do chat a lot of shit when you're wasted." Zayn commented, the same playful tone lilting his voice which told Niall that he probably wouldn't enjoy the older's next words. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, it was obviously the alcohol that was making you act the way you were acting but there was something else that you brought up several times last night and I think that might have had something to do with why you were _so_ desperate."

Niall shifted slightly so that he was able to bury his face underneath the covers, unwilling to look at Zayn in fear of whatever embarrassing thing that his boyfriend was about to point out next. "And what was tha', exactly?"

"You said you were jealous." This statement caused Niall's brows to furrow together into a slight frown, removing the blanket so that he could meet Zayn's eyes. There was a smirk on the older's lips, making Niall's frown deepen further. "What _?_ Jealous of what?"

"Not of what, of _who." Z_ ayn replied, grinning knowingly at the younger boy even though Niall didn't have the slightest clue about what the raven haired man was referring to. The pair had to work around Zayn's protective issues when they first began dating, obviously due to Niall's clients so the younger boy really had no right to get jealous about anything that Zayn chose to do with his time because it would make him a huge hypocrite. There used to be a time when the seventeen year old was convinced that he was straight, when he used to be clingy and overprotective with his girlfriends to the point that they didn't even want to be with him anymore. He was a completely different person now, and although he hadn't been in a proper long term relationship before Zayn (which he supposed couldn’t quite be considered a long term relationship just yet but still) protectiveness wasn't even a word that occurred in his dictionary anymore.

"You were going on and on the whole night about _Louis_ , of all people. Like, you kept bringing up the fact that we had so much in common and you sounded proper cross about it. It was actually quite funny but I didn't really understand where you were coming from because I thought you and Harry wanted us to get along, yeah? Wasn’t that the whole point?"

Niall tugged his lower lip in between his teeth, nodding to himself. "Yeah, yeah, it was. It was the alcohol talking, I swear. I'd never be jealous of you and Tommo and I'm glad that you guys got on so well, seriously. Thanks for not freaking out yesterday because I'd be pissed if I was you." Niall admitted, watching as the older's expression softened.

"We both felt like such wankers yesterday because we had never actually tried to speak to each other before and we can finally put all the drama between our businesses to rest and perhaps even collaborate sometime. So it'd be completely unfair of me to be cross with you. Don't worry about it, alright?" Zayn said sweetly, leaning down to press a soft kiss to Niall's forehead. However he had to pull away when Niall's arms wrapped around his neck, trying to ask for another kiss.

"Sorry babe, I've got to get to work soon. I'm taking you out for dinner tonight so let me know if you need anything after I'm back from work, yeah? If your hangover gets to be a bit too much then make sure you call Harry over."

"I'm not a child, Zayn. I don't need anyone to take care of me," Niall said pointedly, making Zayn smile affectionately before fondly pressing yet another kiss to his boyfriend's cheek. "Whatever you say, babe. See you soon."

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It was a few hours later that Zayn and Niall found themselves seated inside a restaurant that Niall immediately knew was far too expensive for him to even dream of affording by himself. Zayn smiled sweetly at his boyfriend across the table, feeling his heart swell at the sight of Niall's large smile back. Niall was wearing a new suit that Zayn had bought for him despite the younger's protests, and he looked absolutely ravishing in it. He was also wearing a pair of those trendy " _hipster glasses_ ", as the blonde liked to call them, that Zayn had brought for him as a gift after Niall told him about how much he liked them.

"Someone's special day is coming up very soon," Zayn remarked, resting his chin on his palm as he adoringly watched his boyfriend. Niall flushed red, eyes flickering down to the table rather than meeting Zayn's gaze, shy like he sometimes got around the older man. Niall always got bashful whenever Zayn showered him with undivided attention and gifts (which he admittedly loved doing) and it was a side of Niall that the older man enjoyed immensely; just as much as he enjoyed the side of Niall that was sassy and always had witty replies quick on his tongue.

"We don't really have to do anything big, honest. I was thinking that we could invite the boys round and just chill." Niall said modestly, taking a small sip of his champagne before chewing on his lower lip in consideration. The blonde was turning eighteen, which he knew was a big year to be celebrated, but he honestly didn't want to chip in to the money that he had been saving up. Due to the amount of time that he had been spending with Zayn, he was taking about half the number of jobs that he had been previously doing and it was showing in his wallet. Niall didn't quite have the heart to tell Zayn about his problems, just doing his best to take as many jobs as he possibly could without letting the raven haired man know that anything was wrong.

"You're turning eighteen, babe. Of course we're gonna do something big. I've got the whole day planned out and I want you to have a good time, alright? You're far too stressed these days and I don't like seeing you like that so I want your birthday to be good for you. I've already told the boys that they can have you the day afterwards because you're mine on your actual birthday," Zayn said, reaching across the table to place a hand on top of Niall's own, lacing their fingers together.

Niall discreetly crossed his legs underneath the table at the tone of Zayn's words, unable to deny the fact that he was both nervous and excited at the thought of Zayn having him all to himself on his birthday. "I think it's a little unfair that you've banned me from seeing my own friends on my birthday." The blonde said playfully, his smile growing as Zayn chuckled softly.

"Me and Lou got into an argument about it, actually. But Harry eventually convinced him because he thought it was romantic, and I feel like you should be a tad more appreciative because of how much thought was put into planning it for you." The raven haired man replied teasingly.

"Romantic, huh? Is there any way that you'll tell me about what you have planned?" Niall questioned, trying his best not to let his pure curiosity bleed through his words. Niall wasn't lying when he said that he didn't want to do anything too big, preferring to lay low on his birthday with his friends. However he knew that was the last thing that Zayn would want to do, because he always treated Niall to the most extravagant things no matter how much Niall protested.

Obviously he loved being pampered and was grateful for whatever Zayn gave him, but he sometimes felt as if he'd never be able to repay Zayn for everything that the older man did for him. All he really had to offer was his body, but Zayn had made it abundantly clear that sex was most definitely not the most important aspect of their relationship by any means. Sometimes the amount of sheer love that the raven haired man seemed to possess for Niall got to be a bit _much_ but that was simply due to the fact that Niall had never in his life been on the receiving end of so much affection before.

"I've got all your meals planned, for starters." Zayn said, fully aware that food was probably one of the blonde's largest concerns. A chuckle left Niall's lips at that, already excited at the prospect of Zayn taking him out. "And then after we get home from dinner I've got a different kind of surprise for you."

Niall's eyebrows raised, tilting his head slightly. "Different kind of surprise?"

Zayn smirked, gently squeezing the younger's hand. "You'll find out in a few days," He murmured, voice laced with innuendo as he stared at the blonde far too intensely. Niall averted his gaze, already feeling a flush crawling up his neck and cheeks. "Do I really have to wait until after dinner for this present?" He asked, eyes meeting the older's once again.

"Regretfully, yeah. How do you feel about lace, Niall?" He questioned lowly, words dripping with honey as his lips lifted into a smirk. Niall just stared, eyes widening at the implications behind the older's words. The waiter arrived with their food at that very moment, setting the plates down as he smiled at the couple. However Niall could barely focus on the food, still wondering what Zayn meant by his words. As he snapped himself out of his thoughts, he met the older's eyes and decided that he wanted to keep it a surprise as well. So he returned Zayn's slight smile, murmuring something about how good the food looked, subconsciously letting Zayn know that he enjoyed the mystery just as much as the older man did. Zayn gave the younger boy a knowing smile before humming in agreement, offering the blonde some of his food before he began eating.

Zayn couldn't pinpoint the exact moment where he noticed that something was wrong with Niall, but there was a very noticeable change in his demeanor about halfway through their meal. He had been continuously glancing over at something over Zayn's shoulder, looking extremely pale and anxious like he had seen a ghost. The raven haired man had written it off as nothing the first few times, but the fifth or sixth time that he noticed Niall glancing over to look at something, he knew he had to speak up.

"Babe, what's wrong? You've barely touched your food," The raven haired man commented, and it was true, the blonde had been so absorbed in whatever he was looking at that he hadn’t eaten very much of it; nor had he been properly listening to whatever Zayn was saying.

"Huh? Nothing, nothing," Niall replied distractedly, scratching at the back of his neck as he refocused on Zayn and forced a half smile. But the older man knew Niall well enough to know when his smiles were fake and his own eyebrows drew down into a slight frown as he watched the blonde, unconvinced.

"There's clearly something wrong, babe. What've you been looking at?" He questioned, turning slightly so that he was able to catch a glimpse of what the younger boy seemed to be so absorbed in. His eyes met nothing more than a regular family seated at a table, nothing out of the ordinary that would have drawn Niall's attention, so he still couldn't place what exactly had him so anxious. Zayn turned back, eyebrows lifting a little as if gesturing for Niall to talk.

"It's nothing, really. It's just that— that man over there, at that table behind you? Um, he's one of my very regular clients and I guess, I haven't really ever seen my clients outside of, y'know, work? I think it's got me a little spooked out, t'be honest."

Zayn didn't say anything, just blinked at Niall before turning again so that he could get a better look at the aforementioned client. Zayn wasn't sure what worried him more; the fact that Niall had seen one of his clients or the fact that the man sitting behind them was not who he would've pictured while thinking of the younger's clients. He usually thought of old, rich men that had lost their stamina and will for seeking out new mates so they hired them instead. But the man behind the pair wasn't old at all, early thirties if Zayn had to guess. And he still looked rather young for his age, attractive features with a lovely smile to match. Seated opposite him was this beautiful woman dressed very nicely from what Zayn could see, and he could only assume that she was his wife. Next to them were two children, young and joyful as children usually were, looking as happy as ever to be with their parents in this lavish restaurant — absolutely no one would be able to notice the cracks underneath this seemingly flawless family.

"Do you… do you want to leave?" Zayn finally asked after a few more beats of silence, hoping that the pure distress that he was feeling at the moment wasn't evident in his face or his voice. The last thing that he wanted to do was to make Niall more uncomfortable, but he couldn't get the image of the man out of his mind. The image of the man smiling at his wife across the table, an arm wrapped around his younger child. He could barely imagine the position that Niall was in if he felt like something had completely unraveled inside of himself.

"No, no, of course not. I don’t even think he's noticed me. Let's not let this ruin our dinner, Zayn."

"P _lease,_ Niall." Zayn said softly, doing his best to keep his voice steady as he averted his gaze to somewhere behind the younger's shoulder, not quite having the heart to look him in the eyes. He knew the blonde relented because he saw him nod slightly from the corner of his eye, and so Zayn gestured for the waiter. He paid the bill and then led his boyfriend out of the restaurant and into the car, the whole process very robotic to him.

The car ride home was painfully silent, Zayn and Niall as far from each other as physically possible while the older man stared out of the window. He was obviously aware that the run in wasn't Niall's fault at all but it had spooked him out as much as it had Niall. The raven haired man knew of the blonde's multiple clients but he had never really put faces to the names and the encounter made him feel far worse than he thought it would.

All Zayn could think about was the fact that the man from the restaurant had seen his boyfriend naked, had fucked him, had seen him come before. He knew that he was being insensitive about the situation but every time he blinked, there were images of him and Niall burned behind his eyelids. He wondered if the blonde previously knew that he had a family, a wife and two children, whether he was aware of the fact that he was a homewrecker and whether or not it bothered him.

Before he knew it, Zayn's eyes were filling with tears and he blinked them away, inhaling harshly. They made their way home in compete silence, the tension in the car heavy on both of their shoulders. After they got home and the door was shut behind them, Niall placed a hand on the raven haired man's shoulder. "Zayn…"  

The older man turned around, and it seemed like the most natural thing to do to press Niall up against the door and capture his lips in a harsh kiss. Niall squeaked into the snog before he was wrapping his arms around Zayn's neck and opening up for him like a flower beneath the sunlight. He knew what they were doing was wrong, that they needed to talk about it instead of having sex but that was what they knew best.

Although their snogging had started off rather rough, the kisses got gradually gentler as Zayn led Niall back to his bedroom. Gingerly laying the younger boy on the bed as he pressed sweet kisses down his blotchy chest, Zayn tried desperately to convince himself that this wouldn’t become a _thing._ That he was alright with Niall doing his job and it was something that he would have to get used to and that in the future, they'd be able to talk their problems through without needing to immediately fuck.

He kept trying to convince himself of this as he tenderly entered Niall, pressing promises into his skin while repeating the word _mine_ into his neck like if he said it enough, it would finally be true. And Niall indulged him, sobbing out _yours_ and begging for Zayn to let him come, always eager for more. This wasn't rough like how it usually was, it was loving and not something that either of them were used to in the slightest.

And afterwards, when they were both sleepy and subdued, Zayn told Niall that he loved him for the very first time, and tried desperately to get rid of the image of Niall and various clients that kept replaying in his mind. Once again, the raven haired man told himself that this wouldn’t become a _thing_ but they both had the distinct feeling that it would be. 

                                                                      — *✲ﾟ*｡✧ —

Although they never really talked about it, the tension between them had dissipated in the morning and Zayn felt like he really meant it when he repeated the words "I love you" To Niall because the younger boy wanted to hear it again. Niall said it too, cheeks flushed and smile crooked, and Zayn was reminded, for a short moment, of the same boy on the very first night that they met, guileless and impertinent at the same time.

A few days later and it was the blonde's eighteenth birthday, Zayn waking his boyfriend up with quite a few gentle kisses while Niall basked in the attention. When Niall tried to take the kisses further however, Zayn pulled away and murmured something about waiting for later before pulling the younger boy in the shower with him yet carefully avoiding his morning-semi as he washed him down tenderly.

From then on, the day was most definitely the best one that the two had ever spent together. Zayn certainly wasn't lying when he said that he had planned the day perfectly for his boy, taking him to all of his favorite eating and shopping spots while letting him get whatever he pleased. Niall never really asked for much, but Zayn could see the way that his eyes would sometimes light up at a certain item on the shopping rack, so he always made sure to buy whatever it was that the blonde expressed even an ounce of interest in.

After they returned from their extensive day of shopping and eating with far more shopping bags than when they had left, Zayn revealed an ice cream cake that he had bought for the younger boy. The pair ate a few slices together, Niall in Zayn's lap while the older just watched on fondly. And when Niall began peppering soft kisses down the raven haired man's neck, Zayn knew it was time to take him to bed.  

When they got to the older's bedroom, Niall could barely hide his excitement, scratching at the back of his neck as he curiously asked what Zayn had in store for him. Zayn had been teasing him throughout the whole day, from innocently following him into dressing rooms to playing footsie with him underneath the tables of the restaurants that they were at. And while Zayn had restricted the younger boy from coming the whole day, Niall had a feeling that Zayn had, at least once, due to his chilled out state. Which was the exact opposite of how the blonde felt, worked up and semi-hard in his trousers despite having barely been touched.

"I've got you a present," Zayn said softly, honey dripping off of the hushed words as he handed the younger boy a box. "Why don’t you go try them on in the loo and see how you like them, yeah?" Niall nodded as if he was in a trance, captivated by Zayn's dark gaze and lustful tone. Instead of opening the present in front of the older man (because he knew his desperation would be obvious and he didn't want to seem too eager in front of Zayn like he always was) he made his way to the bathroom and locked the door behind himself, pausing as he took a look at himself in the mirror.

He looked ruined from the snog that they had had downstairs, and he honestly couldn't see the appeal or why Zayn was so insistent on making sure that Niall knew he was " _flawless in every single way"._ The blonde knew he had a nice body, broad shoulders, smooth chest tapering off into a tiny waist and then toned, long legs. But Zayn found _all_ of him beautiful, including all of the flaws that remained no matter how hard Niall tried to fix them. Pushing the thoughts out of his head, Niall shook his head a little in an attempt to refocus his mind on the task at hand.

Eyes widening slightly as he opened up the box and caught sight of what exactly was inside, Niall nervously took his lower lip in between his teeth. It was a pair of panties, pastel pink and lacey and frilly and Niall gets hard so fast it makes his head spin. They had talked about the prospect of lingerie before, Zayn murmuring dirty promises in his ear with a hand around his cock — but Niall had never really thought that this particular fantasy would become a reality, and he simply couldn't get his clothes off fast enough.

He was slipping the panties on a few moments later, flushing as soon as he caught sight of himself in the mirror. The panties were sheer, not nearly large enough to hide where Niall was hard, precome drooling from the tip of his cock. He ran his fingers down his body, imagining Zayn doing the same and he instantly unlocked the door of the bathroom, closing it behind himself before making his way back to where Zayn was in his bedroom.

Niall instantly felt even more undressed than he previously was, due to the fact that Zayn had decided against shedding even a single piece of clothing, still completely dressed in his exquisite suit. Niall felt a flush crawling down his entire chest as the older man just stared, lust blown eyes flicking down the blonde's body and making him feel even more exposed, which he didn't think was possible.

"F _uck,_ Niall." Zayn almost growled, taking a step closer but not touching him, instead drinking the blonde's body in with his eyes. "You look, _god,_ you look… stunning." The raven haired man murmured, causing the quickly spreading flush across Niall's cheek to deepen.

"I feel pretty." Niall admitted, and for the first time in a while, he truly meant it. Even if it was against the odds, since Niall was extremely out of place; in panties while Zayn was fully dressed, knobby knees and leg hair a harsh contrast to the delicate panties, poor in the middle of Zayn's gorgeous, lavish bedroom. But what helped him feel at ease was the man in front of him who always made him feel like he _belonged_ no matter how much he didn't.

"Please touch me, Zayn," Niall breathed, unable to hide his desperation for any longer. Zayn stepped forward, rubbing the pad of his thumb along Niall's cheek before pausing. "I've got a few more presents for you, babe," He revealed with a dangerous glint in his eyes, undoing the tie around his neck. At first, Niall figured that he was just getting undressed but he soon realized that there was a reason for the older's actions.

"Get on the bed." Niall couldn't scramble onto the bed fast enough, knowing full well that whenever Zayn got like this, he meant business. Zayn smirked softly at how eager the blonde was at that moment, moving forward and pinning one of Niall's wrists above his body to the headboard. Once he was in the position that the older man desired, he secured his silk tie on the younger's wrist, effectively tying him to the headboard. They had never tried any forms of restraints before, but a little whimper left Niall's lips as he moved his arm against the hold of the tie and received a shock of sensation that was toeing the barrier between pain and pleasure.

"Good?" Zayn asked softly, quirking an eyebrow as Niall just nodded. Shaking his head in disapproval, he pulled on the tie, immediately making Niall wince in pain as he yelped out a _god, yes sir._ "Good boy," Zayn praised, leaning down slightly to press a kiss to the younger's pouty lips. He made his way to the other side of the bed, tying down the younger's other wrist. He then got a few more ties from his closet drawer and tied the blonde's ankles down, chewing his lower lip, deep in concentration.

He then pulled out what looked like a large metal ring, Niall's pace quickening as he realized what it was. "Just so you won't come too quick, yeah?" Zayn said with the softest hint of a smirk, knowing full well what effect he was having on the blonde as he slipped the cock ring on Niall's member and secured it shut. Although he had slightly pulled down the panties to put the cock ring on, he put them back in place so that he was able to admire the final picture of his boyfriend, tied down with the prettiest panties on and a cock ring secured tightly around his flushed cock.

"You look gorgeous, babe," Zayn complimented, running his fingers teasingly down the blonde's thigh before rubbing him through the sheer panties. Niall groaned out as Zayn set himself down on the bed, in between the blonde's spread out legs. Then he leant down a bit to lick at Niall through the panties, getting him nice and wet while his own dick hardened from the feeling of the lace in his mouth.

Zayn had only ever gone down on Niall once or twice, only for a minute or two just to get him hard so that they could have sex but he was planning on taking his time with his boy, and the cock ring ensured that Niall wouldn't come too soon. He was so hard that it looked almost painful but the raven haired man knew that it was what he enjoyed, being pushed to the limit even when he was in pain, and Zayn loved to indulge his boy.

"My pretty boy," Zayn cooed, slightly pulling the panties aside so that he was able to stroke his fingers down his length, the pastel pink such a pretty contrast against Niall's pale, creamy skin. Eventually he pulled them off completely, the loss unfortunate but still needed because now Niall's cock was completely exposed, stiff and flushed, drooling with precome.

"Please, Zayn," Niall repeated desperately, straining against the ties as he tried to thrust his hips up into Zayn's waiting mouth. The older man threw an arm over Niall's hips in an effort to secure him to the bed. Then he went down and fit his lips around the younger's cock, not bothering to tease Niall as he had done enough of that already, instead swallowing him down whole.

"Oh, fuck," Niall swore, groaning out endless curses as the raven haired man worked his tongue on the underside of the younger's cock, doing his best to swallow his sizeable length without gagging. He used his hands for whatever he couldn't fit in his mouth, bobbing his head slowly in an effort to please the younger boy.

Zayn had always been good at sucking dick, but he preferred rimming the younger boy — although rimming Niall had never seemed to give him _this_ much pleasure; raw cries ripping from Niall's throat, sounding like it almost hurt to let them out. He pulled off, dark gaze flicking up to see the blonde's head thrown back in pleasure. He wrapped a hand around Niall's cock and tugged him off in slow, teasing strokes, licking his lips before softly murmuring _look at me._

The blonde did as told after a moment, opening his eyes and meeting the older's gaze. His normally blue eyes had gone cobalt with lust and he watched hungrily as Zayn licked only the head of his cock, teasing him beyond belief. He was distantly glad that the older man had thought ahead and bought him the cock ring, because there was no way that he would've lasted with how good Zayn was.

Zayn took him back in, using his hands to cup at the blonde's balls and letting out a soft moan when he realized just how close to the edge Niall was. But this was most definitely not how he wanted his boyfriend to come so he pulled off once more, holding him at the base of his cock even though it wasn't necessary with the cock ring on.

"Please, Z, I can't. God, I can't," He groaned senselessly, hips bucking up like he couldn't help himself, trying to get Zayn to continue sucking him or even just touching him, but the older man didn't relent, completely letting his cock go and sitting upright. "Don't worry, babe," He said softly, placing a reassuring hand on his knee before pulling away a bit to remove his shirt. And then he got his belt and trousers off, leaving him in only his boxers. Those came off soon afterwards, and his precome provided him enough slick to jerk himself off a bit, much to the distaste of Niall, who was desperate for some attention.

"Sorry, sorry," Zayn apologized distantly, moving forward to press a soft kiss to the blonde's blotchy chest. "I thought we could try something new tonight?" He said slowly, posing the statement as a question because he only wanted to do whatever Niall wanted for that night — it was _his_ birthday, after all.

"You know me better than I know myself, Z," Niall said brokenly, voice hoarse like he had been the one getting his throat fucked and not Zayn. A soft smile graced the raven haired man's lips before he reached over to grab the lube. He got some out and then began lathering the blonde's cock down, getting him thoroughly covered.

"Wha-?" Niall started, but Zayn cut him off, a knowing smirk set on his lips as he met the younger's gaze. "I told you, we're trying something new."

Niall's head fell back against the pillow, the realization of what was about to happen sinking in slowly. He couldn't possibly fathom the thought of being inside Zayn for the first time, something that he had written off since basically the beginning of their relationship. "I… I don't think I'm gonna last." Niall admitted softly, the words hushed as if he almost couldn't bear to say them out loud.

"We can go twice. You can have me however you'd like the second time around, yeah?" Zayn offered sweetly, gently slipping the cock ring off of Niall's cock, slow as to not hurt his boyfriend.

"Fuck, yes," Niall almost whimpered, voice shaky both from Zayn's words and the pressure that the older man was applying on his cock. After an appropriate amount of lube, Zayn readjusted himself so he was straddling the younger's thighs. He quirked an eyebrow, asking a silent _ready?_ but Niall bit down on his lower lip, eyebrows knitted down softly.

"Z, you didn't put a condom on me," Niall said with concern tinging his voice, but the older man just smiled knowingly. "There's a reason I wanted us to get tested together, babe. We're both clean, so relax," He murmured, voice low as he absently ran his fingers over his neglected cock. Niall's eyes flickered down to watch the action, head slowly bobbing in a short nod. If the blonde was unable to imagine being inside Zayn, being inside him without any layer of protection was something beyond any realm of thought. This was the very first time that they'd be fucking without a condom, the younger boy accustomed to finding other ways to orgasm without any actual penetration whenever they weren't at home.

He was brought out of his thoughts as Zayn rose slightly so that Niall's bare cock was only just brushing the older man's hole. He had his lip in between his teeth, eyebrows knitted together in concentration as he dropped down slightly so that Niall was finally _in_ him. "Zayn," Niall moaned, wanting to throw his head back in pleasure but knowing not to because the real show was right in front of him. The raven haired man always looked like a work of art, but he had never looked quite so gorgeous, tattoos accentuated against his tanned skin, chest heaving because he was breathing so hard, hazel eyes open to watch Niall falling apart underneath him.

After a few more seconds and a rather rough shove, Zayn had bottomed out completely. Niall whimpered in pleasure, keening high in his throat at how tight the older man was. This whole experience was basically new to the blonde, considering the fact that he wasn't accustomed to this sort of luxury with his clients. On days that he wasn't working, Niall rarely ever went on the pull so this was the first time in a long time that he was fucking someone and Zayn was so goddamn tight that he could barely remember his own name.

He wished that he could touch, that he could dance his fingers over the harsh contours of Zayn's ribs, that he could wrap his fingers around the older's slim waist, that he could caress his heart shaped tattoo. But the ties around his wrists and ankles were preventing any sort of movement, including thrusting up into the older man's body — which meant that Niall couldn't do a single thing as Zayn rose slightly, brushing the head of Niall's cock against his hole before dropping back down, completely engulfing him as they both let out matching groans.

"Jesus fuck, Zayn," Niall babbled senselessly as Zayn repeated the motion rapidly, rising and falling and groaning every time the blonde hit his sweet spot. The whole experience was extremely different without a condom on as he could feel every single inch of Zayn's skin against his as the older man rode his cock, feeling as if he could come undone every time Zayn grinded down on him.

The raven haired man leant forward slightly so that Niall's cock was barely in him, pressing an open mouthed kiss to the blonde's pliant mouth, his forsaken cock grinding against the younger's firm upper stomach so that he was finally getting some friction. "God, you feel so good," The older man whined, grabbing Niall's chin with his hand to make sure he was watching as he slipped back onto his cock, the simultaneous pleasure of both the younger boy inside him along with his own cock rubbing against Niall's chest bringing him to the edge too soon.

There was nothing that Niall loved more than watching Zayn during sex, the way his face contorted in pleasure, full lips parting to moan loudly, hair messy and sticking up in tufts. But this was another sight entirely, and while he felt unbelievably good around his cock, the added stimulation of watching Zayn fall apart because of him was something completely new to him. Even though Zayn was in the most vulnerable position that he could possibly be in, he was still fully and completely in control of the situation and in control of Niall and it made the whole thing _that_ much better.

"I'm gonna, I'm gonna come, Zayn. I can't hold off," Niall stuttered loudly, straining against the painful ties as he felt himself slipping closer to the edge every time the raven haired man bounced on his cock. Zayn moaned in response, holding himself off at the base of his own cock so that the moment was Niall's and Niall's only.

The blonde's head fell against the covers as Zayn slammed himself down _hard,_ one more time before Niall was coming with a choked off moan. The raven haired man didn’t dare touching himself, ready to stave off his own orgasm for Niall's pleasure because he knew the blonde well enough to know that he'd like to make Zayn come himself.

Zayn was aware that being inside someone without a condom on was a completely different experience as opposed to fucking someone with one, and while the process afterwards would be difficult for Zayn, it meant the world to him that Niall had the best experience that he could possibly have. It took the younger boy a few moments before he fully came down, his orgasm lasting even longer than usual after the torture that the cock ring brought with it.

After a few more seconds, Zayn did his best to pull his shaky limbs away from Niall's body, although it almost seemed as if the two were so tangled together that the lines where Niall's body ended and Zayn's began were blurry. It hit him then, the full realization that he was in _love,_ in love with a seventeen year old (eighteen year old, he chided himself) who was definitely too young and naïve to understand what love even meant. They said the words to each other quite a lot, but whether Niall really meant them was still a gray area in the older man's mind.

As Zayn settled down next to Niall's still spread out body, he caressed his face gently, in awe of his gorgeous boyfriend. "I got you a joint. Thought I'd save it for the second time around, like,"

"Is it my birthday or yours?" Niall replied teasingly, a chuckle leaving his parted lips. "Can't smoke anything until you untie me though. Gonna start bleeding," He muttered, back to his usual self despite having just had the best sex of his life. It was just so _Niall_ that Zayn found himself laughing, much to the confusion of the blonde whose eyebrows knitted together into a slight frown.

"You're an absolutely mental old man," Niall commented, unable to help the grin that found his lips anyways. "Thanks for making this such a good day for me. I love you," He said after a moment's pause, his features softening as he watched Zayn. 

"I love you too." Zayn murmured, pressing the gentlest kiss against the younger's lips before sitting upright so that he was able to undo the ties on his ankles and then his wrists. "I'll get the joint," He started, getting up off of the bed and standing on his legs that still felt as if they were still shaking. "And by the way," He started, leaning forward so that he could murmur hotly in the younger's ear. "I wasn't kidding when I said that you could do whatever you'd like to me this time around," He said the words slowly and with purpose, his usually smooth voice rough and sultry.

He pulled away and then he made his way out to get the high quality spliff that he had bought and a flannel to wipe both of them down — which, he realized, would be very pointless as they were planning to fuck again. And they did, after having smoked the joint, Niall got the cock ring back on himself and fucked Zayn in all of the positions that he wanted because he knew he probably wouldn't get an opportunity like today again.  

Somehow the older man managed to retain control the entire time, guiding Niall, loose and easy from the joint but still commanding when he needed to be. They found themselves tangled up together in bed afterwards, giggly and playful like there was nothing else that mattered around them. And there wasn't, not in either of their eyes, because this was the first day in a long time that Niall hadn't had to leave for a client, that Zayn hadn’t had to show up to a public event with some nameless model, the first day in a long time that they were both truly happy and comfortable in their own shoes.

And if the pair had known that this day would be one of their last spent together, Niall and Zayn probably wouldn't have slept so soundly that night.

                                                                      — *✲ﾟ*｡✧ —                                                

It had been a few days since the younger's birthday, however it felt like a lifetime since the two had seen each other. Both of their schedules were packed to the brim, and Niall had decided that it'd be easier to go home for a few days as his clients were usually closer to Greg's flat than Zayn's. The blonde did that sometimes, but the effects of him staying away had never hit Zayn as much as it did for that week. Perhaps it was the fact that after his birthday, the raven haired man had assumed that they had grown even closer to each other and in some twisted place of his mind, he also felt like maybe it meant that the younger boy was _his_ now and would spend more time with him as opposed to less.

The absence of Niall's bright presence had put a bit of a damper on Zayn's life, and he found himself spending a lot more time than usual moping around, staring aimlessly at the TV while wondering whether this was how Perrie felt before she left him. He wanted to throw himself into his work but found it difficult to when work was yet another source of stress for him. Niall turned a few days later though, tired eyes and messy hair but still as beautiful as usual.

They napped together that afternoon until it was time for both of them to wake up, around eight in the evening. Barely any words had been said to each other since Niall's arrival but Zayn greeted the blonde with a soft _hey babe,_ running his fingers through the younger's hair.

"I missed you a lot," Zayn revealed quietly, still absentmindedly brushing his fingers through the younger's soft hair.

"I've been away for longer." Niall pointed out in return, letting Zayn do as he pleased as he tangled their legs together underneath the blankets, heavy gaze rested on the older man.

Instead of saying the unspoken words, _it felt different this time,_ the older man leant forward and brushed their lips together in a gentle kiss. It was gentle until the younger's tongue traced the seam of Zayn's mouth and they began proper snogging, the first in quite a few days and so he couldn't help it when his hands moved down to Niall's waist underneath the covers to squeeze it gently.

Niall pulled away slightly, looking a little forlorn as his eyes flickered down to the older's lips. "We can't right now, Z. I've got a client later,"

"You don't usually get to come with your clients, do you?" Zayn pressed, to which Niall nodded after a moment in admittance. "Let me make you feel good then, yeah? It's been far too long, like," He murmured, moving forward a tad so that he could nuzzle against Niall's exposed neck, soothing tongue a harsh contrast to his stubble on the younger's sensitive skin.

Niall hesitated but finally succumbed to the ministrations of Zayn's skillful mouth, moving up a little so that Zayn was able to rid him of his green sweater. Once Niall was clad in only his loose sweats, Zayn pressed a few soft kisses to the younger's collarbone, pausing as he caught sight of something on the smaller boy's neck.

"Wha-What's this?" The raven haired man questioned softly, slightly pulling away as he absently thumbed at a bruise on Niall's neck, dark and spreading out over a good fraction of his pale skin. It was a hickey that he most certainly hadn't left himself, and the sight of it almost makes him want to cry because he thought Niall's presence would put him at ease, but all he could picture is some faceless man hunched over the younger's body, touching him in all the places that Zayn liked to touch him in, making him moan and cry out in pleasure and it's all too much for him.

He doesn't hear the words that leave the younger's lips, _stupid fuckers never understand not to leave hickeys,_ his own mind drowning Niall out. "I can't. I can't right now, Niall," He stammered out, own voice sounding foreign to him as he got off of the bed, like he was trying to put as much physical distance between him and the blonde as he possibly could.

"I thought you wanted to—," Niall started as he sat up in bed, however Zayn cut him off with a short shake of his head, absentmindedly bringing a hand up to run his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry," He apologized quickly before he was turning on his heel and making his way into his bathroom, although he wasn't quite sure why. He closed and locked the door behind himself, immediately sliding down and huddling his knees up to his chest. Zayn had absolutely no idea how Niall had managed to debilitate him so much, considering just how harmless the younger boy was. No one had ever really managed to fuck with his mind this much, and the last person that he would've expected to was _Niall_. Sweet Niall who had far too much to deal with as an eighteen year old, and clearly a relationship with someone who was in their own head as much as Zayn was the last thing that he needed in his life.

Some time passed like that, enough for the raven haired man to finally feel like he was able to stand up and wash his face, in an attempt to refocus himself. He left the bathroom and made his way to the living room, biting down on his lower lip as his gaze met Niall, who was sitting cross-legged on the couch, small bowl of strawberries next to him as he watched the TV intently. However his eyes shifted to Zayn, slightly raising an eyebrow as he muted the movie playing.

"What the fuck was tha' all about, Z?" He questioned, grating words a stark contrast to how soft he looked, shirtless with his loose sweats on, platinum blonde hair sticking up in all directions. "And don't give me some bullshit excuse or fuck me like you did last time; clearly this is something we need to talk about."

Zayn averted his gaze to the floor, feeling infinitely guilty as compared to before. Who was he to put added stress into Niall's life when he obviously had enough on his plate already? "There are some things that have been bothering me, like," He started off uncertainly, bringing a hand up to scratch absently at the back of his neck.

Niall didn't say a word, just stared expectantly at Zayn with an eyebrow perfectly poised. The older man took a deep breath before he made his way over to Niall, setting himself down on the couch as well. "I've been thinking, for a while, and I— I realized that I'm not completely on board with your job, yeah?"

"You don't have to be on board with my job, Z. You just have to tolerate it until I make enough for college. You know that the deadline for applications is coming up in a few months and I see no point in even trying to apply if I don't have the money for it."

Zayn knew that he had a point, that he should just be quiet and apologize before this turns into a full-fledged argument which they hadn't had for weeks on end; but his mind was screaming at him to press further. "There are other alternatives though, babe. I could get you another job or I could even pitch in a bit—"

Niall cut him off with a rather disgruntled noise, brows knitted down into a frown. His words are rather shaky as he speaks, and whether it's tears or anger that he's holding back, Zayn doesn't know. "Zayn. You know that I need to do this for myself. It's all I've wanted for so long and you _know_ that, Z. I've reduced the number of jobs I have by such a significant amount and I've had to deal with my clients being pissed all the fucking time and I only did it for you. I've lost out on hundreds of quid because of you, for you, so you've gotta understand that I've already compromised so much. Lou's offered to pay for college so many times but I always say no because this is the one thing that I need to do for myself. If I'm only hired because _Zayn Malik_ recommended me then it's pretty shitty for me to deny qualified people of a position they deserve, don't you think?"

"I just want you to be safe, alright? I don't like the thought of you going out every night to some stranger's flat when the only people that know your whereabouts are the creators of that shit website who could probably find hundreds of people to replace you in an instant."

"What am I to you, Zayn? 'Cause all it sounds like to me is that I'm nothing but a dirty prostitute. I think you're forgetting that we would have never met if it wasn't for that 'shit website' so frankly, I don't understand what the fuck you're on about."

Niall was the average teenager when it came to being angry, his harsh swears a clear sign that he was unhappy with the situation at hand. Zayn, who had taught himself to always be calm and level headed in arguments, found himself unravelling with every word that Niall spat out at him. "That's not what I mean and you know that, babe. Even if you found another job that wasn't paying as much, I could help, like,"

"How?" Niall questioned exasperatedly, sounding as if he was completely done with the conversation and done with Zayn too. The raven haired man wasn't used to him sounding this uninterested unless he was just playing around and the shift from the generally sweet boy that he was in love with to someone who looked as if they couldn't give less of a damn about him made him want to leave right then and there.

"You could live with me. Then the expenses of paying rent to your brother would be completely gone. And all you'd have to worry about is the rest of your college fees and you wouldn't have to like, keep going to Greg's flat to pick up something or drop something off because you barely stay there anyway — it's mostly when you've got a lot of clients so you'd be able to stay with me if you quit the website, yeah?" Zayn's talking fast, knows that he's rambling but he's worried that Niall will cut him off with laughter or insinuate that the whole idea is ridiculous which was the absolute last thing that he wanted.

"Moving in is a really big step to take. I think you forget sometimes that I'm only eighteen."

He wasn't wrong. Despite Niall's apparent carelessness and obliviousness, they both knew that he was wise beyond his years and Zayn always tried his best not to belittle him or treat him like a child. So he hummed softly in agreement, tilting his head slightly as he waited for the younger boy to continue.

"I've got my whole life ahead of me, Zayn. I've got so many things to look forward to and I can't deal with that sort of commitment right now."

Zayn's heart broke into a million pieces and he tried his level best not to let his hurt shine through his whispered words; "I didn't know I was weighing you down, Niall. I wasn't aware that I was stopping you from living your life."

"God," Niall said, anxiously running his hands through his hair as he averted his gaze to anywhere in the room that wasn't _Zayn_. "I've got a client in twenty minutes and I can't, I just can't do this right now. Can we please talk about this when I'm back?"

"There's nothing to talk about, innit? I'm obviously a burden on your life so you might as well just leave me now instead of dragging it on for longer, yeah?" His words are low and hushed, hurt bleeding out of him like an open wound and he hasn't felt this pathetic in a long time, not even when Perrie left him.

"How the fuck am I supposed to choose between you and my job, Z? What happens if we don't end up working out? What then? I'll have nowhere to go, I'll barely have any means of earning money and you know that's not practical for either of us, especially not now."

"I don't know, Niall. I don't fucking know, alright? My mind didn't immediately think of all the bad things that could happen to us because I love you, yeah? I don’t know if you realize that sometimes, the amount of power you have over me and it's unhealthy for both of us. And seeing as you want me out of your life as soon as possible then it's good that we had this conversation because it's made things a lot clearer for both of us." He's blinking back tears now and he could tell that Niall was close to crying too but he was just curious as to where they both went wrong.

"Please don't do this right now. We can talk about it when I'm back but right now isn't the time."

Zayn distantly realized that somehow during the argument, both of them had gotten off of the couch and were facing each other. Niall moved forward, presumably to make his way to Zayn's bedroom to get a change of clothes, but he paused, right next to the older man. "Don't do anything stupid when I'm gone, alri'? We can work this out," And he stood on his tiptoes in order to press a soft kiss to Zayn's cheek, and Zayn distantly wondered how Niall had managed to grow up so much when all _he_ felt like was a sulking child. Perhaps it said something about the dynamics of their relationship, it showed that Niall was never truly reliant on his money but Zayn was reliant on the younger boy, in more ways than one.

And then he was off into Zayn's bedroom and a few minutes later, out the door, and he couldn't help but wonder why it felt like Niall had taken a piece of Zayn with him when he left.

                                                                      — *✲ﾟ*｡✧ —           

Niall felt like shit. He had stopped and considered going back but he knew that him and Zayn wouldn't be able to communicate properly unless they had both had time to cool themselves off. The blonde had a feeling that they had already said things to each other that they didn't mean, and the last thing that either of them needed was more yelling — or more mumbling, in Zayn's case.

He had felt like shit throughout the time spent with his client, hadn’t even gotten paid because _isn't it your fecking job to act interested_ and now that his cab was pulling up to Zayn's house, he still hadn't gathered his thoughts enough to have a proper conversation with the older man.

After the extensive amount of time spent thinking about it, Niall had come to the realization that he took advantage of Zayn a lot more than he thought he did. Not in terms of money, because the blonde had learned to fend for himself and not rely on anyone, but in terms of love. He had had more clients telling him that they loved him compared to his own family, and so it only made sense to him that he sometimes took advantage of the fact that Zayn was the first person to really mean it when he said the words.

He had never been in a real relationship before, so he had no concrete perception of what love was like, but he thought that the relentless beating of his heart beneath his ribcage whenever he was around Zayn was indication enough. But maybe it wasn't and he was completely wrong about everything, but that didn't change the fact that Zayn was the closest he had ever come to being in love. Commitment had never been a steady part of his life and he wasn't sure whether he'd ever fully be able to commit to Zayn who probably needed someone a lot steadier than himself.

Letting a soft sigh leave his lips, Niall unlocked the door to Zayn's flat. He knew that something was wrong the moment that he walked in because the flat was completely devoid of the older's presence, the only indication that he was there being an opened bottle of whiskey on the table. "For fuck's sake," Niall cursed under his breath, making sure to check all of the rooms in the flat before he was pulling his phone out of his pocket so that he could call Zayn.

What stopped him from doing so were the multiple texts from Louis, _call me !!_ repeated several times with multiple emojis. Niall did as told, chewing on his lower lip as Harry's familiar drawl answered the phone with a soft _hello?_

"Where the fuck is Zayn?" He asked brashly, unfazed by the fact that it was Harry on the line and not Louis because he was accustomed to them interchanging places all the time.

 _It's Niall,_ he heard over the phone, and then he seemed to be making his way to another room, perhaps the balcony, his suspicions confirmed when he heard the sound of a door closing. "Niall…" Harry started slowly, his worried tone causing the younger boy's stomach to flip completely. "Where the fuck is Zayn, Harry?" Niall repeated slowly, words tense and curt because frankly he doesn't have the time to mess around with something like this.

"I wanted to call you because we hadn't talked in a while and you weren't picking up so I called Zayn instead and he was slurring and his voice was hoarse as shit and it sounded as if he'd been crying so I told Lou to go over and Zayn was apparently pissed and kept telling Lou that he couldn't stay there so Lou brought him over and he's here now. I've never really seen him so sad, he could barely get his words together but him and Lou have been sitting together for a while now and I think they've been talking so,"

"Is he alright? Fucking hell, Haz," Niall rambled, worriedly running his fingers through his hair as his gaze shifted up to stare at the ceiling.

"It doesn't seem so… and don't take this the wrong way, love, but I think you should just stay home for now, alright? Maybe let him spend the night with us?"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I can't leave him there like that, I can't," He had never felt like such a shitty person in his life, and the fact that he had brought down someone as influential as Zayn and all because of his selfishness made him want to curl up in a ball and just cry.

"I don’t think it's the best thing for you to come over right now, babe. Zayn, he's saying some things that I don’t think you need to hear and it's just not what either of you need at the moment."

"What's he saying, Haz?" The blonde could tell that Harry hesitated but he repeated his question again, unsure if he even wanted the answer but knowing that he'd have to hear it either way.

"That you two can't be together anymore because he doesn't… doesn't think you're in love with him anymore." Harry's voice cracked with his words and Niall's didn't know what hurt him most; the fact that Harry was on the verge of tears because seeing Zayn in such a sad state must've been shit for him or the fact that Zayn might've been right.

"Just please tell Lou to make sure he's alright." Niall managed to get out before he was ending the call and stumbling into his bed — _Zayn's bed_ — and he realized then that love wasn't what he previously thought it was. It wasn't the rampant beating of his heart or the butterflies that danced around his stomach or the words of endearment that died in his throat because they'd be too cheesy to say aloud; it was this feeling of emptiness that plagued his entire body, this plethora of loneliness that engulfed his heart and the bottomless feeling in his stomach because he knew that Zayn wouldn't be there to hold him anymore.

 And this feeling didn't leave Niall for the next few months, when he was packing his things out of Zayn's flat, when he scrolled through his phone and was met with pictures of Zayn and some blonde at a formal event, and even when he got his acceptance letters back from a college that he knew he could afford. Little did he know that Zayn was feeling the exact same way, but that didn't mean that things would work out between them because life didn't always work out no matter how much they wanted it to.  

Perhaps one day their paths would cross once more, but Niall wanted nothing more than to go back to the first time that they had seen each other, cursing himself for not treasuring Zayn like he was meant to; again, the older man felt exactly the same way but it wasn’t as if either of them were aware of the other's feelings so it was just another love story that went unheard of — or at least, that was how Niall thought that their story would end but sometimes things did work out and maybe they would for them too.


End file.
